Here’s A Glimpse Inside An Orgy In The Hamptons, In Case You’ve Ever Wondered What That’s Like

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Ever since that scene from Eyes Wide Shut — you know the one, with the masks and the orgy and the creepy music — it has introduced popular culture to the idea of elegant, upscale sex parties that only the filthy rich could dream of attending. That’s not to say that orgies are anything new, they’ve been going on for a long time as Brian Glazer can attest to, but Eyes Wide Shut helped to make them seem glamorous and for the beautiful and elite. Since then companies have been organizing parties based loosely on the aesthetic from the classic Kubrick film, only without the Illuminati symbolism (or maybe with it?).

If you’ve ever wondered what those strange orgies are like, Harper’s Bazaar has you covered as they sent a reporter to one of these exclusive get-togethers in the Hamptons alongside her partner to see what it’s really like to be among the bald, white, naked elite. The idea behind the party is that straight couples paid $400 for entry, were directed to a rented home in the Hamptons where everyone would be wearing white, then the organizer was selling $10 drink tickets and everyone grumbled about the lack of food until the sex started happening.

No sex happened at the sex party for a very long time. And then, very suddenly, a lot of sex happened.

Most of us have never been to an orgy before, especially one that had a $400 entry fee and were required to send photographs and measurements to the party planner beforehand to make sure that no one with an unsavory body type made it in, but it sounds as delightfully awkward as a party like this could be. Because really, do parties actually exist where everyone shows up and there is just nonstop uninhibited sex? By the sounds of it, this party was just a lot of white couples in their mid-50’s groaning about how their homes were nicer than the rented one, that there wasn’t enough food and that they weren’t getting any action.

At 6 PM, two cater-waiters moved a kitchen table out onto the patio. Several guests began to hover, darting glances at the kitchen while attempting to look casual. Then there emerged three trays of sushi from Citarella. The guests descended en masse. White-clad arms scrambled to pick up dinky little plastic plates; chopstick-wielding hands darted for tuna and salmon. Any atmosphere of exclusivity — hell, any whiff of sexy — dispersed in the frenzy for food.

So yes, sex did eventually happen, but this report makes it sound a lot more like an old man pulled up in a limousine later on in the evening filled with what appear to be Russian escorts who then worked the party by flirting with the guests before they descending into one of the two designated “play” rooms to get the action started. One intrepid orgy-enthusiast even started to get it on with a strange woman only for his partner to pluck an ice cube from her drink and toss it at him to inform him that he needed to stop cheating on her immediately.

If this puts a damper on your enthusiasm for maybe attending one of these exclusive sex parties one day, don’t be entirely disappointed; there was a mention of a Toronto orgy enthusiast who spoke solely in innuendo and he surely got in on the action when the hired help arrived to liven things up. For now, it does seem like attending a party, eye-balling an attractive person from across the room and having uninhibited fun with them might not be much of a reality, because there will always be someone there to chuck an ice cube at you to break your immersion and remind you of your responsibilities.

(Via Harper’s Bazaar)