Amazon Wants Your Snotty-Nosed Kids To Choose Its Next Original Series

As opposed to Netflix’s strategy to release all of its episodes at once, which I’m a little dubious about, I like this new idea that Amazon Instant has put forth today, and I wish the networks would adopt this strategy for their sitcoms. Amazon Instant’s idea is this: They’re creating pilots for 5 different children’s shows, they’ll stream each of the pilots on Amazon Instant, and any Amazon customer can watch the for free. Then, viewer feedback will determine which shows are picked up to series.

God knows there’s a dearth of programming for the little ones on Netflix for kids around the ages of 4-7 (at least until they get the Disney film catalogue). Once the crumb snatchers run through all the episodes of Blue’s Clues (BRING BACK STEVE), Phineas and Ferb and Wordgirl, then it’s mostly tween live-action programming for older kids or little kid crap like that whiny little Canadian sh*t, Calliou (KILL HIM WITH FIRE) or the ear-piercing squelch of Dora the Explorer. Amazon’s strategy gives parents and kids more options, and if the kids are choosing, at least we’ll know they like it enough to shut up and kill an hour while their parents are trying to sleep in.

Here are the pilots Amazon will be posting, including one from the people behind Blue’s Clues. Also, for the sake of my sanity, because I can’t watch any goddamn children’s cartoons (except Phineas), can other parents recommend what to watch and what to avoid? I’m looking for something that won’t influence my child into becoming a whiny little hellion or a bitchy little know-it-all. Do they have genre children’s shows? Why isn’t there a Little Raylan Givens cartoon?

Here’s the PR copy:

Creative Galaxy

Creative Galaxy is an animated interactive art adventure series, designed to inspire kids’ creative thinking through crafts, story, music and dance. The series was created by Angela Santomero, creator ofSuper Why!, the Emmy-nominated literacy series, Blue’s Clues and Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood.

Oz Adventures

In this innovative problem solving series, Dot, Dorothy’s daughter, goes off to Oz everyday with the children of the beloved characters from L. Frank Baum’s classic book, The Wizard of Oz. In each episode, the yellow brick road leads Dot to a new magical location where she solves problems alongside her Oz friends.

Teeny Tiny Dogs

Produced by The Jim Henson Company (Sid the Science Kid, Dinosaur Train) and created by Howard Baker (Rugrats), Teeny Tiny Dogs follows Butch, Butterfly, Dinky and Polly as they help one another navigate the big world despite their teeny, tiny, small size. This series promotes happiness through friendship, learning, growing and developing a strong sense of self as seen through the eyes of canine friends.

Tumbleaf

Tumbleaf was created by Drew Hodges and Bix Pix Studios, an award-winning stop motion studio. The series, aimed at preschoolers, is set in a whimsical land where a small blue fox named Fig plays each day and discovers adventure, friendship and love around every bend in the path. Children will be enriched by narratives that promote play through exploration and cognitive reasoning.

The Untitled J.J. Johnson Project

The Untitled J.J. Johnson Project revolves around Anne, a young scientist, who creates three robot helpers to assist her scientific experiments in the back of her dad’s junkyard. This science-based series from creator J.J. Johnson (Dino Dan, This is Emily Yeung) aims to introduce kids to science and technology in a fun, new way.

All due respect to the other shows, but when Jim Henson’s company is in the mix, the rest of the guys should just pack it up. The game has already been won.