You Can Finally Have That Ranch Dressing Fountain You’ve Always Dreamed Of


Shutterstock/Hidden Valley/UPROXX

There’s something truly special about Ranch dressing. It’s perfectly suited to be used on salad and equally equipped to be used as a dipping sauce for pizza crusts. It’s a truly American invention. Consisting of buttermilk, salt, pepper, garlic, onion and various herbs, Ranch first burst onto the scene (and American plates) in the 1950s. There’s also no better-selling salad dressing in the US and it even has its own holiday (National Ranch Dressing Day was just celebrated on March 10th).

To mark this most important American holiday, the folks at Hidden Valley (the inventors of Ranch dressing) decided to collaborate with Flavour Gallery to create a line of products perfect for the Ranch-Head in your life. Among the myriad interesting items, you can purchase a jewel-encrusted bottle of Ranch, a Ranch tote bag, a Hidden Valley hat, various shirts, and even a bottle koozie.


But, nestled along with all of these fun products there sits something as unusual as it is breathtaking: the Hidden Valley Ranch Fountain. We’ve all seen our fair share of water fountains in our lives. Some of us have even encountered the infamous (and likely germ-filled) chocolate fountain. But, never, even in our wildest, most intense dreams did we ever imagine a world where a Ranch dressing fountain existed.

But, maybe we should have. Just like chocolate fountains are perfect for dipping strawberries and cookies, a Ranch dressing fountain is perfectly suited for pizza and chicken wing dipping. The site calls it “the ultimate dip dispensing party companion” and we couldn’t agree more.

Plus, it won’t even cost you a small fortune to bring this dream machine into our home. For only $100 dollars, you get an “Auger-style” Ranch fountain with four different tiers and twelve 36 ounce bottles of Hidden Valley Ranch. How else are you going to get the fountain to flow with creamy, zingy nectar of the gods?