You know the story: Woman puts on swimsuit. Someone decides said woman should not be wearing swimsuit. Demands are made. People start screaming about “impressionable children.” And it all erupts on Facebook where we watch the haters fall all over themselves to excuse the fact that someone was forced to change because they were wearing something too “sexy” or “revealing.” But we’ve never heard the story quite like this before, because while people are quick to call out thong bikinis, the woman at the center of this s&*t storm was wearing a one-piece.
Here’s what happened: Tori Jenkins of Knoxville, Tennessee decided to go for a swim in her apartment complex pool. The pool that she pays $300 a month in fees to use. So she put on her swimsuit — a pink number, pics below — and proceeded outside. There, she was briskly stopped by an employee and told that she needed to cover herself up or get the hell out of dodge.
But, like Billie Mays always said, that’s not all. The complex employees added insult to sexual harassment by making Jenkins come into the leasing office and take photos to prove the scandalous nature of her “thong” (it’s not a thong). Hmmm, bet some lawyer would be delighted to take on a case in which the plaintiff was not only shamed for wearing a swimsuit that was too much (or rather, too little) but then forced to have pictures of herself taken in said swimwear.
And then, the lecture/justification. From Hello Giggles:
Moreover, Jenkins was told that her body is built “more curvy than others.” Because of this, it’s “too inappropriate” for children to be around.
Yuck. And as if things couldn’t get worse? The leasing consultant said that teenage boys in the area didn’t need to be “excited.”
First of all, who hasn’t seen someone in a small bikini by the pool? Ladies wear thongs, dudes wear speedos, and we all manage to get along. Yeah, someone’s always screaming “won’t somebody think of the children?” but have you ever actually seen someone be traumatized by a bathing suit? Were they going to kick out dudes wearing speedos, too? Because those could be traumatizing. And beyond that: Isn’t it the parents’ responsibility to either explain what’s up to their kids or take their children out of the public place where too much flesh is being exposed? Why does the full-grown adult who’s actually doing nothing wrong have to be harassed about it?
Second of all: If teenage boys in the area get excited, you police them, not the person doing the inadvertent exciting, right? Many of us have been teenage boys and know that it doesn’t matter who’s wearing what. The wind can blow the wrong way and BAM, you gotta sit down and put a towel over your lap. That’s on you, though, and not on the person who wanted to swim and didn’t take your hormones into account. So maybe management should have had a talk with the hypothetical boys in question about self-respect instead? Teach them that, hey, you don’t look down on or treat someone badly because of what they’re wearing? That their bodies aren’t on display for you?
As you can already guess, Jenkins was shaken by the event. So was her fiance, Tyler Newman. They each put up accounts of what happened on Facebook, each pointing out just how ridiculous, disgusting, and unbelievable it is that Jenkins was treated with less reverence than the possible sexual urges of the men around her.
From Newman’s account:
Today my fiancée was told that she is less important than how men feel around her. That Tori is less important than a man’s urges to be sexual towards her. I think she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, but I also respect her. I would never make her or any other woman feel less than what she’s worth because of her outfit or her looks. This is how rape culture continues to grow.
I’ve never seen my fiancée embarrassed to the point where she can’t even look her best friends in the face. I’ve never seen her cry like she did in our apartment today. Never seen her want to be isolated like that. All because some ignorant assholes think they can police the size and shape of her body. I’ve never seen a woman so disrespected.
The post included pictures of Jenkins:
Jenkins made her own post to address negative comments being lobbed her way — because, yes, even after Newman wrote up the story and posted pictures as proof that the suit was fine (with Jenkins’ consent), people felt the urge to do go online and be mean to strangers under their own names.
1. I’m a size medium. The swimsuit is a size medium. I tried on the large in the store and felt little confidence that my boobs wouldn’t show after being hit with one good splash.
2. The pool rules state only that “Duly appropriate attire must be worn at all times, no cut offs”
3. The suit may look small but that’s also after I binge cried and ate pizza. When you feel that shitty about yourself do you really think the first pose that comes to mind is happy? That I wanna have good posture and look skinny? I didn’t care. And frankly I still don’t care if I looked “too big” for the suit. Look at the body language: my shoulders are down, arms crossed, and so on. There’s only a “pinch an inch” situation on one side, because I’m slouching.
4. There WAS a front facing picture. I took it down after reading so many hateful comments about my stomach and so many intensely explicit sexual comments. That is the whole issue. I will not be reposting it because that isn’t the area of my body in question. I left the back view up even after the same comments are made on that picture.
4. The ENTIRE POINT of this post is that no man or woman has the right to make me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. No right to police me or any other human.
We’re hoping that the complex issues an apology and lets Jenkins swim free forever (you know the best she’s getting is a one-month reduction in fees), but we’re even more hopeful that this story is a reminder to everyone that women’s bodies don’t just exist for the male gaze and that we should all be respecting each other when we’re out in public. (And on Facebook, too. WTF is up with those negative comments?)
