Daily Fantasy Football Advice For Week 5 Of NFL Action

Howdy yardage for money enthusiasts and mascot huggers! I’m UPROXX goon Dan MacRae and as always I’m here to provide daily fantasy football advice of varying quality. Sometimes I’m right (my pro-DeShaun Watson and anti-Martavis Bryant takes for Week 4 panned out) and sometimes I’m spectacularly wrong (Odell Beckham Jr.didn’t hit paydirt once on Sunday). The nice thing about daily fantasy for degenerate wannabe GMs like me is that a new week is a fresh start. Plus, you can make your picks while drunk in the tub sobbing to Donna Lewis’s “I Love You Forever” and no one has to know. WHY DID I ADMIT THAT OUT LOUD?

We’re entering Week 5 where bye weeks begin (Bronko Nagurski didn’t get no bye weeks, etc.) and patterns are starting to truly emerge. Draft with caution, investigate your options and if all else fails. pretend everyone on your fantasy roster has a crush on someone else on said roster. It can really spice up a dull-ass 0-4 vs 0-4 game. Let’s get to the suggestions, shall we?

Quarterback

Invest In Aaron Rodgers: This is the sort of all-star analysis you come here for. Good quarterback is good. It seems on the nose, but in a Week 5 that sees QBs Ryan, Brees, Cousins and Siemian all enjoying bye weeks, it makes sense to invest in a pivot that can get results AND be a reality show person of intrigue. On Sunday, Rodgers will take on a Cowboys defense that has been generous to opposing quarterbacks (giving up an average of 17+ fantasy points to QBs in 2017) and it’s not like Rodgers didn’t assert himself in Dallas in January’s NFC divisional playoff game win for the Packers. On a Sunday-specific DraftKings slate, Rodgers is $8,100 to pick up and provides stability in a week with limited quarterback options.

Avoid Cam Newton: I like Cam Newton. I wish him well and would like to play Skee-Ball with him sometime. I would not like to have him on my Week 5 roster, though. Dude went berserk on New England’s defense (as everybody does these days) and looked like he was pulled straight out of NFL Blitz. Expect a painful hangover in Detroit where the Lions have been nasty to opposing QBs and have been keeping pivots to about 10 fantasy points per game. Factor in the Panthers STILL trying to sort out what the hell their offense actually is and the general feeling of depression that comes from so much Lions grey and you’ve got a quarterback to pass on this week.

Consider Jacoby Brissett: No, YOU’RE high! The Colts haven’t exactly been setting the world on fire in Andrew Luck’s absence, but the Brissett version of the club is better than the flaming diaper offense helmed by Scott Tolzien. The ex-Patriot gets a favorable home clash against the winless San Francisco 49ers and stands to benefit if pick-friendly Niners QB Brian Hoyer tries to make this game a shootout. Don’t sleep on Brissett’s ability to rack up fantasy points on the ground, either. Sure, the man’s no Andrew Luck and against the Niners he won’t have to be.

Running Back

Invest In Carlos Hyde: Last week, I politely suggested that you not draft Carlos Hyde for your sexy DFS team for cool dudes. This week’s a completely different story as Hyde, San Francisco’s workhouse back with no one stepping up to take the gig from him, visits Indianapolis and their abandoned K-Mart of a defense that is happy to let rushers run, catch and score their way into a big fat fantasy point total. Provided Hyde isn’t more banged up than advertised, Hyde is worth investing in at RB.

Avoid LeSean McCoy: Are you happy with your Shady production in 2017? Dude’s been putting in the work as Buffalo’s offensive focal point, but in terms of fantasy production, it hasn’t really been worth the trouble. McCoy’s next matchup won’t do him any favors. The Bengals may be bungling, but their defense has looked fierce when it comes to shutting down opposing backs. It’s hard to get excited about this matchup. Avoid.

Consider Duke Johnson Jr.: The Cleveland Browns are 0-4, although Browns fans will be certain to tell you it’s a ROBUST 0-4. A vaguely inspiring 0-4 versus other 0-4 starts. Cracking that goose egg is no guarantee against a Jets team playing way beyond expectations, but there’s lots of reason for fantasy optimism with seemingly forever tipped breakout star Duke Johnson Jr. clicking with rookie QB DeShone Kizer. Johnson has been getting looks galore as a receiving target in Cleveland’s offense. The Jets defense is exploitable so bring on the exposé.

Wide Receiver

https://twitter.com/PirateLifeFF/status/914724489933524992

Invest In Larry Fitzgerald: The Arizona Cardinals haven’t exactly bounced back in 2017 despite a lot of projections to the contrary. Don’t let that scare you off reaping the benefits of Larry Fitzgerald against an Eagles defense that has given up an average of 40.25 fantasy points to WRs in the past two weeks. It’d take sorcery to bring Palmer and Fitzgerald back to their old ways all season long, so let’s enjoy a one-week time capsule where the Iggles secondary gets exposed on a repeated basis.

Avoid Allen Hurns: Jacksonville is currently savoring the closest thing they’ve had to a functional offense since pioneer times. (Or maybe closer to a decade.) Expect a more traditional Jags outing against a Steelers defense that has been quietly stingy against wideouts in 2017 albeit with a less-than-dazzling slate of competition against them. Blake Bortles posted an anemic and very JAX-y 140-yard outing against the Jets and now he faces Pittsburgh at Heinz Field. That doesn’t bode well for Jacksonville’s offense in Week 5. Hurns won’t break your bank (he never does), it just doesn’t seem like a good time to place faith in the Jags.

Consider Will Fuller: Welcome back to professional football, Will Fuller. The Texans wideout returned from a collarbone injury to play his first game of the 2017 campaign and enjoyed a two TD performance that included four catches on six targets. Rookie QB Deshaun Watson could see his totals freefall as dynamic young pivots sometimes do, but if he’s still red hot that means beautiful, bountiful totals for Fuller who gets a Chiefs defense happy to give away fantasy points like fun-size Snickers bars. DeAndre Hopkins is (understandably) going to get the bulk of the pass defense’s attention which means Watson can continue to get the ball to Fuller.

Tight End

Invest In Hunter Henry: Nothing says excitement quite like two 0-4 teams clawing at each other’s faces in a valiant attempt not to be 0-5! One thing Chargers fans (all five of them) can enjoy is the Giants being incapable of stopping tight ends in 2017. The G-Men are unmatched this season is giving up fantasy points and TDs to tight ends and that trend should continue in East Rutherford against the Chargers.

Avoid Jason Witten: Cowboys tight end Jason Witten may be a reliable safety blanket in the bulk of matchups, but Green Bay have made a habit of frustrating the veteran. Considering that Witten’s been non-existent in his last two games this season (with limited targets to match), it’s hard to imagine that rut being sorted out against a Pack team that pretty much silenced Jimmy Graham and Zach Miller earlier this season. UPROXX fantasy football czar and all-around good egg Jason Nawara disagrees with me on this take.

Consider Cameron Brate: I was bullish on Cameron Brate last week and the Tampa TE delivered with a stellar 18 point performance. If you’re preparing a lineup that includes Thursday’s primetime TB-NE clash, select Brate and cut out everyone in your life who disagrees. The Patriots have been ghastly on defense this season and would likely give up 40 points to Matchbox Twenty if they ever played each other. (The Pats defense is very bad is what I’m getting at.) Tight ends have been feasting all year as a result and Brate (an incredibly reasonable $3,700 on DraftKings at the moment) stands to collect in gargantuan fashion. Or maybe he just gets a bunch of targets. Either way, keep Brate in mind before reaching for someone pricier and less effective.

Have a pleasant fantasy footballing, buds. I look forward to seeing what unforeseen hurdle f*cks up my master plan.