Trump’s Wacky Spiritual Adviser Offered An Utterly Batsh*t Prayer To Try To ‘Help Trump Win,’ And People Are Having Fun With It

It’s November 5th, two days after the presidential election, and … you guessed it, we still don’t know who the next leader of our nation is going to be.

Everyone’s coping with this uncertainty differently — binge-eating, binge-drinking, binge-watching YA dystopian franchises like The Hunger Games — but for Trump’s followers, the anxiety seems to have driven them to prayer. Specifically, to the off-beat chanting in tongues lead by Trump’s spiritual adviser, Paula White. White’s a Southern Baptist pastor known for co-opting other cultures at the pulpit, but the pressures of this razor-thin electoral college margin have clearly driven her over the edge because she’s now shrieking in gibberish, calling on angelic reinforcement from places like South America and Africa, to find the votes Trump needs to secure another term in office.

There’s no earthly way we can do her white-woman Christian witchcraft justice so just watch for yourself:

And sure, there’s a lot going on here, chief among them that a presidential spiritual adviser seems to be weaponizing religion against a specific group of people and labeling non-supporters “demonic” but we’ve been dealing with this kind of radical thinking for four years now so Twitter is finding the humor in all of this instead.

Here, one shrewd listener realized White was having trouble staying on-beat without backup music, so they remixed her rap with a Slim Shady track:

https://twitter.com/GuidoFawkes/status/1324307639422066695

And for those wondering about that random man trolling the stage with a Bible and a bathrobe in hand, Twitter has yet another answer to ease your mind:

In all seriousness, someone needs to tell White to go watch Lovecraft Country before she calls on African spirits to do her white conservative bidding. It didn’t end so well for Christina Braithwhite.