On Wednesday, 17 words I never thought I’d never type happened: Bill Cosby was released from prison after his sexual assault conviction was overturned by Pennsylvania’s Supreme Court. While Claire Huxtable (a.k.a. Phylicia Rashad) was busy celebrating the news that a rich, powerful celebrity accused of drugging and sexually assaulting approximately 60 women over several decades was being set free, Stephen Colbert was brainstorming some possible post-prison career moves for the once-beloved comedian. And he came up with an idea that, sadly, would probably work.
Colbert didn’t waste any time getting right down to business at the top of his opening monologue, telling his audience: “Folks, I’m going to shoot you straight: I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news. The bad news is, I lied about the good news. And both bads combine to be the worst news: Bill Cosby has been released from prison after his sexual assault conviction was overturned.” The live audience, probably much like the viewers at home, reacted with a series of loud boos, to which the host responded: “Yeah, I agree with you. Or, to put that another way: Me too.”
Colbert went on to say that he has no idea what might be next for Cosby, but had one idea that could actually work: The Cosby Show star and human monster could join fellow monsters Bill O’Reilly and Donald Trump on their “Monsters of Being Monsters tour,” which we could absolutely see selling out to a crowd of MAGA hat-wearers are far as the eye could see. And as it turns out, there is a connection of sorts between the former president and Cosby being set free. As Colbert explained:
“I want to be clear, this is not an exoneration. Cosby is getting off on a technicality. The ruling stems from a ‘2005 agreement Cosby struck with then-prosecutor Bruce Castor, [who] declined to prosecute Cosby in exchange for his testimony during a civil trial.
Now if the name Bruce Castor rings a bell, it’s because he’s the same paragon of legal ethics who went on to represent the former president in his second impeachment trial. His business card just says, ‘Bruce Castor: Actual Devil’s Advocate.’”
You can watch the full clip above.
