After trailing by as many as 10 points to Team Brazil, the U.S. Men’s Olympic Basketball Team had plenty of people laughing at that whole Dream Team debate last night. But Kobe Bryant LeBron James and Co. got the last laugh, as they pulled off an 80-69 victory, sending the Brazilians home to their stupid beaches and ridiculously sexy women. Ha, losers.
So with the win in the books and basketball disaster averted, the nation’s focus on the actual big loser of the night – President Barack Obama, who was booed by the crowd at the Verizon Center in Washington, DC after he and the First Lady failed to smooch it up when the Kiss Cam was pointed at them early in the game. Only after another Kiss Cam attempt in the 4th quarter did Barry-O finally give his lady some sugar, but to many people, it was simply too late.
Look, I know that some people think the Kiss Cam needs to disappear, but I’m an advocate of this tradition that dates back to the 1700s. I’m also here to defend the Obamas, because as With Leather’s Official Presidential Sporting Event Attendance Authority, I know that they’re hardly the first First Couple to ever muff the Kiss Cam opportunity, as evidenced by this collection of awkward moments that I have put together.
The Sporting Event: Cricket on the Mount Vernon Lawn
While people from all over the new country would gather at their home for a huge cricket tournament, George and Martha Washington watched from their living room window, because they were kind of jerks like that.
When later asked why she didn’t kiss her husband on the Kiss Cam – which despite the technology was in color back then – Martha replied, “Wood teeth, son.”
The Sporting Event: Freedom Boxing
Once he freed the slaves, Abraham Lincoln got a taste for bare-knuckle boxing promotions. In fact, it has been suggested by many that John Wilkes Booth assassinated Lincoln because he wouldn’t grant him a rematch with then-heavyweight champion, Reggie “The Cracker Hammer” Grayson. While some historians believe Abe ignored Mary because of his devotion to the fighting, it is known that he simply thought kissing girls was “icky”.
The Sporting Event: A 1953 Washington Redskins Game
While it may look like they were sitting at home, this was actually the interior of Harry Truman’s skybox at Griffith Stadium. Some historians will argue that Griffith Stadium didn’t have skyboxes, but those people are dicks. In fairness to Harry and Bess, it was long rumored that while they weren’t fans of the Kiss Cam and PDAs, they often spent halftime with the curtains closed, having hardcore sex. It was believed that Harry would shout, “KABOOOOOOOOM!” at climax.
The Sporting Event: A 1959 Washington Senators Game
It wasn’t that Dwight and Mamie didn’t like showing their affection for each other in public, it’s just that – as Dwight’s memoirs would later confirm – they were both really old and nobody wants to watch old people make out. Ike was a hero like that.
The Sporting Event: Not sure, but there was a parade before it
Boy, I bet she gave JFK hell when they got home!
The Sporting Event: Super Bowl XVII
Ronald and Nancy Reagan decided to lend their support to the Washington Redskins at the Rose Bowl, and it worked. The Skins defeated Don Shula and the Miami Dolphins 27-17. The Reagans were also joined by their good friend Michael Jackson, which made the Kiss Cam moment so awkward. Jackson later admitted that there was just so something so strange about that moment, as he stared at Ron, that it changed him forever.
The Sporting Event: The 1995 Masters Tournament
LOL, oh Bill, you are a dog!
The Sporting Event: A Texas Rangers baseball game
As a huge baseball fan, George W. Bush has never been found of the Kiss Cam. He only likes it when the jumbotron is used to show mascot races or hilarious baseball bloopers like in that funny Naked Gun movie.
The Sporting Event: The 1936 Summer Olympics
Kiss Cam fails aren’t just limited to America’s leaders. During the Berlin Olympics, one camera man tried to get a smooch out of Adolph Hitler and Eva Braun. That camera man was never seen again.
