Background: On this week’s episode of Silicon Valley, Pied Piper programmers Dinesh and Gilfoyle (Kumail Nanjiani and Martin Starr) created a SWOT board to help decide if they should let a douchey stunt driver named Blaine die. SWOT boards, for those of you who are blissfully unaware of corporate jargon and gobbledygook, break down a potential decision into four categories: strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. Dinesh and Gilfoyle made theirs because the stunt driver was an ass to them when they tried to correct his faulty math on an upcoming jump, and because he had a hot girlfriend named Gina who Dinesh liked. It was all very morbid.
It was also really, really funny. You can read a bunch of the cards containing their various reasons for each category if you examine the banner image closely, but Entertainment Weekly was able to track down the full list. Some highlights:
STRENGTHS
BLAINE IS NO LONGER ALIVE
SAVES ASSHOLES FROM MAKING MISTAKES IN MATH
AS A GIANT DOUCHE, BLAINE TORMENTED ETERNALLY IN HELL
IMPRESS HOT SATANIST CHICKS BY BOASTING ABOUT BLAINE’S DEATH (GILFOYLE ONLY)
WEAKNESSES
GINA MARRIES BLAINE IN HOSPITAL OUT OF GRIEF
GINA KILLS SELF OUT OF GRIEF
GINA ENTERS CONVENT OUT OF GRIEF
BLAINE’S BLOOD HAS AIDS AND GETS ON KIDS
PEOPLE WEAR T-SHIRTS WITH BLAINE’S FACE ON THEM
OPPORTUNITIES
F— GINA?
BIRDS GET TO EAT PIECES OF BLAINE
GRIEF THREESOME WITH GINA & BLAINE’S HOT MOM?
BLAINE’S ORGANS HARVESTED FOR HOT GIRLS WITH CANCER WHO THEN GRATITUDE-F— US
DISHONORING BLAINE’S REMAINS BY PUTTING FUNNY HAT ON BODY, DRAGGING IT BEHIND CAR
TAKE HIS WALLET AND SHOES IF NOT TOO BLOODY
THREATS
PEOPLE FIND OUT AND IN YOUTUBE DEATH VIDEO, WE GET FLAMED IN THE COMMENTS SECTION
GUILT (DINESH ONLY)
WE CAN ONLY WATCH HIM DIE ONCE
Check out the full list at EW. Silicon Valley is a good show.
