This Is Your Friendly Reminder That Future NBA Players Should Never Tweet

Welcome to the NBA, Bobby Portis and Larry Nance, Jr.! The two young guns were drafted in the late first round on Thursday night, with Portis to the Bulls at No. 22 and Nance to the Lakers with the No. 27 pick. While it’s obviously great news for them (guaranteed contract, fulfilling a lifelong dream, etc.), they probably forgot they said some dumb things on Twitter about their new teams.

When Portis and Nance were teenagers, they clearly had strong opinions about basketball. That’s okay, it’s what teenagers do. But because Twitter is a nightmarish hellscape where all your tossed-off thoughts come back to haunt you like Dickens’ Marley brothers, some people went back through their timelines and found the above dumb statements. It’s forced all involved parties to acknowledge tweets sent out by teenagers as if they had any sort of meaning. And, of course, all three tweets have since been deleted.

Boy, I wish I could be in the room for that Kobe Bryant-Nance sit-down. In the real world, chances are Kobe will see he has a fresh-faced rookie on the team who — if handled well — might contribute to a Lakers’ return to the playoffs in the final season of Kobe’s current Lakers deal. But in the world of #NBATwitter fantasy, Kobe will unleash an unholy torrent of Mamba venom on the rook in practice.

Portis, for his part, addressed his youthful indiscretion in a tone perfectly suited to how little this all matters:

Well played, Bobby. Now you’ve made us all hungry for donuts. Larry Nance, Jr. should take note; maybe Kobe will finally soften his death glare if you bring him some fried dough. I know I would.

Anyway, never tweet. It always comes back to you.

(Via Twitter and Ball Don’t Lie)