My mind wanders – flutters, even. Nothing is too insignificant or marginal to warrant a moment’s pondering. It’s not an inability to focus, but more a constantly careful analysis of the minutiae of every day life. Who’s on the other end of my Xbox Live game? Did Dexter actually inspire someone to become a vigilante that uses a kill room and creepy pictures? Who wins a fight between Kendrick Perkins and Ron Artest? Does anyone actually watch SNL anymore? How did humanity discover fire? That seems like a pretty tough thing to do. What’s the cutoff age for “you’re too old to be single and enjoying the NBA party life?” Why is it socially frowned upon to bite into tomatoes whole? On a scale of 1-10, how obnoxious was it for Google to create Google+ and try to ruin Facebook?
There’s a quick glimpse into the endless abyss that is my tortured curiosity. I’m sure many of you have wondered similar things. That’s why I’m proud to present you with DimeBag, the weekly Dime mailbag.
Each Wednesday at 12 p.m., I will be posting a response to your questions, thoughts, stories, ideas, etc. Only the cream of the crop will make it, so only submit if you think you’ve got something clever, interesting or funny to say. Oh, and another thing – spelling counts. I can sort of deal with bad grammar, but if I get one of those “thx dood c u l8r I b excited to read dis,” e-mails, I will print it out, stomp on it, set it on fire and be upset for the rest of the day.
If it’s related to basketball, that’s definitely a plus. But it doesn’t have to be. If you notice an awkward social trend or something completely in need of commentary, feel free to shoot me an e-mail. If you can somehow tie it back to basketball, A+ for you. Remember, there’s a lockout. So we need basketball-related things to argue over and ultimately come to no definitive conclusion about.
Think of this as somewhere between the Bill Simmons Mailbag and the Deadspin Funbag. Less pop culture references, not rated NC-17. If you don’t know what either of those are, use the Google machine.
HOW TO SUBMIT: E-mail dimebag@dimemag.com with your question/story/idea and include your name and hometown. If you really insist on being a sketchy anonymous Internet weirdo, I guess I can’t stop you. So at least provide some sort of name and location. But if you do give me a real name, you can say to your friends, “Hey look! My question about urination got answered on DimeMag.com!” Pretty amazing, right?
Alright, enough from me. You’ll get plenty of that next week. The DimeBag is officially here, so start e-mailing. I’m pretty excited to see how sick/twisted/smart all of you are.
Follow Dylan on Twitter at @DylanBotB.
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