Kobe Bryant out! Craig Sager in! DeMarcus Cousins is going to kidnap Rajon Rondo, which makes total sense. The Lopez twins continue to be the best interviews in all of sports. Steph Curry did Steph Curry things. It’s time for the Pic And Roll!
Shall I Compare Thee To A Midseason’s Game?
Kobe Bryant announced his retirement with a poem, which is maybe the most Kobe Bryant thing ever. While it might have been surprising at the time, now that we’ve had a bit to reflect on it, it makes total sense. When Tim Duncan retires, we won’t even get an announcement, he just won’t show up to training camp. When Kevin Garnett calls it quits, he’ll hold a press conference where he talks and talks and talks and half of Minnesota will get fired up.
Kobe, though, Kobe loves the drama. And what’s more dramatic than saying you’re done than doing so with a poem (and out-scooping all other media outlets in the process)? Personally, “Dear Basketball” is a fairly mundane title. Why not go with a more Shakespearean flair, maybe “To Bean, or not to Bean?” or “The Merchant of Venice (Beach).”
As far as actual poems go, well…let’s just say Kobe won’t be going into the Iowa Writers’ Workshop when he retires.
DeMarcus Cousins’ Dastardly Plan To Keep Rajon Rondo In Sacramento
DeMarcus Cousins finally has a point guard he likes and looks up to in Rajon Rondo. Unfortunately, this happy friendship might not last long, as Rondo could be in for a big payday with another team, provided his numbers sustain through the rest of the season. But DeMarcus isn’t worried about Rondo’s departure, mainly because he’ll prevent it at all costs. What does that entail, you ask? Text messages? Phone calls? Fruit baskets? Come on, this is Boogie. He’s going to straight up kidnap Rondo to prevent him from leaving.
Obviously, Boogie’s kidding. I mean, there’s no way he’d do that. If you love something, set it free. Or, you know, tie it to the railroad tracks until it signs a multi-year extension. Whatever works.
The Lopez Twins Are The Best Interviews In The World
Yes, the world. Not just the world of sports, but entire planet, world. Except, maybe Gilbert Gottfried, and he only gets the edge because of his voice.
Robin’s Knicks played Brook’s Nets on Friday, but the outcome of the game was decided even before tip-off in the form of a lightsaber duel between the two twins. Speaking of, now that they’re in the same city, it would make sense that the twins live together, right? Wrong. It has nothing to do with friendship or wanting to be their own person, and everything to do — at least, according to Robin — with Brook’s evil cat.
The NBA isn’t short on characters, but the Lopez twins stand above the rest for their quirks and hardcore nerdiness. They’re natural nerds, too, comfortable in their quirkiness. After all, who else in the NBA is building a house at Disney World?
Reunited And It Feels So Good
Craig Sager interviews Coach Pop during the break. https://t.co/F8pvWnc4U1
— NBA on TNT (@NBAonTNT) December 4, 2015
We’ve been waiting for this moment for almost two years: Gregg Popovich and Craig Sager, reunited at last. There was even a hug involved! Pop spends so much time busting Sager’s chops for what he perceives to be pointless sideline interviews that we tend to forget the genuine affection he has for the intrepid reporter. Thursday night was a reminder of this affection, as Pop warmly greeted Sager back into the fold. It was actually kind of shocking, seeing Pop be more emotional than Sager, who looked like he just wanted to get the interview going.
Don’t worry, Sager. I’m sure this will probably be the last time Pop greets you with a hug this season…or ever (at least on camera).
Jahlil Okafor Has Been Watching Too Much Rocky
Not the best week for the Sixers rookie, as another video surfaced of him getting in a second fight in Boston. As we’ve written several times before, these are the stupid, at times dangerous, mistakes 19 year olds are prone to make. It doesn’t make Okafor a bad person, it just means he needs to grow up. It also reinforces what should be general knowledge: don’t pick a fight with someone twice your size.
Line Of The Week: Steph Curry – 28 third-quarter points on “Dell Curry Night”
https://media.giphy.com/media/3o8doTCjTCJDumOWfC/giphy.gif
At this point, we’re used to 40-point performances for Curry (which, seriously, how insane is that). Yet many of these scoring outbursts are spread out over the length of the entire game. When Curry is able to erupt for 28 points in a quarter, as he did against the Charlotte Hornets on Thursday, is when we’re truly left in awe. But for how much longer? Since we’re already anesthetized to Curry’s overall scoring, it might not be much longer until we shrug when he puts up 20, 25, even 30 in a given quarter. Luckily, that hasn’t happened quite yet, so we can fully enjoy his ability to effortlessly and single-handedly torch an opponent.
