If there is a tragic figure in the Cavs’ season, it’s Anderson Varejao. He’s the only Cavalier who has been around since before LeBron took his talents to South Beach, and his torn Achilles tendon in December (and the void it created at center) precipitated Cleveland’s trade for Timofey Mozgov, which seemed to complete the lineup. So as the Cavs got their act together and started steamrolling the Eastern Conference, the emotional heart of the team from the LeBron-less years has been relegated to wearing suits that make his hairdo look even more ridiculous.
So as a tragic figure, it only makes sense that Varejao would have a calamitous, star-crossed romance. It could never work between you and Iman, Andy — you’ve got a head full of slinkies, and he has a tight, tall flat-top. It’s the Capulets and the Montagues all over again. You can steal kisses all you want, but the Internet is always watching. What will David Blatt think?
In reality, this moment from Cleveland’s Game 3 road win over the Boston Celtics was an accident caused by Varejao’s close talking in a loud arena and Shumpert’s poorly timed head turn. To their credit, they took it in stride — no exaggerated “Bro, sick!” sputtering — but what are these inconsequential moments if not opportunities to let our imaginations run wild? Screw it, we’re ‘shipping Vareshump as our OTP now.
(Via The Big Lead)
