‘Batman V Superman’ Is Now In Cereal Form, And We Review Them Both

01.08.16 2 years ago 4 Comments

Warner Bros.

The eternal war between Batman and Superman will be endlessly debated until the end of time or the next Big Bang, whichever comes first. And it is an argument fought in many forms: Comics, novels, blog forum posts, and now, thanks to General Mills, cereal.

One box each of Batman Chocolate Strawberry and Superman Caramel Crunch arrived at my doorstep yesterday. When I opened it, I was immediately greeted by the cereal, a bowl, a spoon, a Batman mask, and a Superman cape. Being, of course, a grown man in his thirties, I did the only thing an adult faced in that situation could possibly do:

dan has no dignity


Then, of course, I ate the cereal. I started with Batman Chocolate Strawberry, trying it dry, first. It was, of course, shaped like bats, or at least an abstract suggestion of a bat. The box has a strong smell of berry right out of the gate, and the cereal tasted a little more strawberry than chocolate, but the texture was pleasing, crunchy without being too hard. Much like the Dark Knight himself, its two sides are constantly warring, sometimes with the strawberry prominent, other times with the chocolate surging to the fore. The strawberry left a slightly chemical and tart aftertaste, but nothing too bad. It also held up pretty well when submerged in the milk, which is quite an achievement for a Captain Crunch-based breakfast cereal.

Then it was Superman’s turn. I was surprised that the little pieces actually resembled Superman’s shield, and eating a piece dry, I found it the caramel flavor to be a pleasant sweet note. Sadly, though, the Man of Steel has a cereal of mush; it began dissolving in the milk almost immediately, barely retaining its crunch. The single flavor combined with the lack of texture felt a lot like Superman at his worst: One-note and predictable. It’d be a lot better ground up and used over ice cream; it’s almost graham cracker-esque in flavor and texture, but a little sweeter.

Based on this, I have to narrowly call this round for Batman, but only barely. His cereal’s flavor could stand for a little more balance, but the fact that it had better texture made up the difference. One hopes the movie has a slightly more conclusive result.

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