This Is What Happens When The Pope Invades Your City

As you may have heard by now, Pope Francis finally concluded his historic trip to the United States with a stop in Philadelphia this past weekend. For many Philadelphia residents, however, the papal visit was a point of contention, not a cause for celebration. In the months and weeks leading up to the visit, most residents had become increasingly nervous about the impending weekend. Every new bit of news we heard seemed to spell doom and gloom.

In August, the city announced road closures for pope weekend, which included major highway arteries going in and out of the city to be closed from Friday evening to Monday morning. Think about that! Just cutting off almost complete access in and out of the fifth largest city in the United States, for an entire weekend. Additionally, a “traffic box” was to eliminate traffic from within a three-square-mile radius in both downtown and West Philadelphia. Most city public transit was being shuttered for the weekend, so it was advised that the primary method of transportation for pilgrims coming to see the Pope would be largely by foot.

In neighborhoods adjacent to areas where the Pope was actually scheduled to appear, Secret Service went door-to-door screening residents. Everyone had stories. A coworker of a friend who lives in an apartment overlooking one scheduled appearances was ordered to keep his blinds drawn at all times and was told that should he step out on his balcony, he risked being taken out by a sniper. My neighbor who works at a veterinary practice near the Art Museum told me that she and her fellow employees were subject to background checks, and that authorities wanted access to their appointment books.

So, it goes without saying that a lot of Philadelphians were feeling pretty spooked by the whole thing. Many people made accommodations to rent out their homes with Airbnb or just get the hell out of dodge in general. Additionally, the military-like state also scared off many potential revelers who decided that the whole thing just wasn’t worth it, and last-minute projections fell drastically short of the anticipated crowds, with hotels yet to sell out just days before the event.

As a result, many businesses downtown suffered extreme losses, if they even bothered to stay open at all. Famed Philadelphia restaurateur Marc Vetri posted a lengthy diatribe on Facebook lamenting the decisions of Philadelphia leaders for scaring people away from the city. Many restaurant owners were left with an abundance of food that they could not serve, such as Tommy DiNic’s in the Reading Terminal Market, who ordered a surplus of bread for the anticipated crowds, but ended up taking a huge loss, according to one employee I spoke with.

While it was certainly unfortunate to see Philadelphia’s businesses take a hit, for those who stayed behind to witness the spectacle of the Pope descending upon the City of Brotherly Love — myself included — the weekend was not actually a wash after all. In fact, far from it. If you didn’t mind the National Guard camped out on every street corner and the endless rows of porta potties (seriously, so many porta potties!), there was magic to be found in a car-less, mostly deserted, somewhat apocalyptic-feeling city. So, what really happens when the Pope invades your city?

You Hang At A “Pope-Up Garden”

Philadelphia businesses that fared the best during the Pope-pocalypse adapted to the weekend-long event. Pizzeria Vetri sold slices of pizza on the sidewalk. Tinto, an upscale Jose Garces tapas and wine bar, flipped burgers out on the sidewalk for five bucks a pop. And The Bishop’s Collar, a neighborhood bar in the Fairmount section of the city, capitalized off of its name by transforming an adjacent parking lot into a lovely “Pope-Up Garden” for the weekend, complete with plentiful picnic tables, free water, and beer to those who needed a break from the festivities. The Bishop’s Collar previewed the garden a day early on Wednesday for my running group, who ran all the way from West Philly to check it out.

You Go On A Bike Ride With 3,000 Of Your Closest Friends

Thousands gathered at Philadelphia’s 30th Street Station on Saturday morning for a special Pope Ride, taking advantage of the closed-off city streets for an eight-mile jaunt through downtown Philadelphia. The event drew people of all ages, and even many families with young children attended. Some fashioned makeshift pope hats to attach to their bike helmets, which ended up not being the best choice given the windy conditions that morning. It was only somewhat terrifying when the course briefly took a turn to Columbus Boulevard, on the far east end of the city, which, as it turned out, was not actually closed off to traffic.

You Throw A Pope Party

What better thing to do when your city is mostly shut down than to throw a house party for everyone trapped in the city? Make sure to have lots of red wine and crackers on hand, and I also went with a “blood of Christ punch.” (Spoiler alert: It was mostly rum and grenadine.) It also helps if you have friends who are willing to spend an inordinate amount of time crafting a shortbread Philadelphia complete with a cookie pope and, of course, plenty of porta potties. (Did I mention the porta potties?)

You Head Downtown And Just Take It All In

Sunday was the big day with the Papal Mass for World Meeting of Families, so my other half and I decide to bike over into Center City and witness the spectacle, after stopping at the Chestnut Street Sephora, which thankfully remained open because it was like they knew people might run into eyebrow pencil-related emergencies. Next, we decided to take advantage of the people watching by having a drink at a taproom with outdoor seating not far from Rittenhouse, where we witnessed not one, but two makeshift and possibly spontaneous parades. Eventually, we made our way over to the Parkway for mass (despite neither of us being religious), and while we couldn’t get anywhere remotely close enough to see anything, we did get a pretty cool view of the Art Museum, along with one of many jumbo-trons airing the service.

Overall, if you didn’t have any plans, weren’t a business owner, and prepared for the worst, Pope Francis’ visit was unexpectedly actually pretty goddamn delightful. (Oops, how many Hail Marys do I need to say for that?) In fact, many people I spoke with wished the Pope could visit every year, or, at the very least, have to city shut down to vehicles to make it pedestrian and bicycle-accessible. I’d give the Pope visiting a solid four out of five stars.