You know that pang of guilt you feel every time you enter a Burger King? Whether it’s to grab a quick bite between meetings — there are so many meetings — or the only place still open in the middle of the night on your ill-fated cross-country road trip (that sounded like so much fun at the time), entering the fluorescent-lit home of the Whopper can still send you into a shame spiral that lasts just as long as it takes to forget that you’re about to eat more calories in one meal than you should have in 36 hours and start salivating all over the salt-laden offerings pleasantly pictured all over the restaurant. And now that the chain is introducing more and more outrageous creations — the kind that you just know might be worse for you than a pack of cigarettes — stopping in to sample a deep fried Cheeto filled with mac and cheese might give you more pause than usual.
If you’re one of those people (like most of us), who mistakenly believes that everyone is judging your order instead of forcing fry after fry into their mouth in a hypnotic trance, there’s some good news: You can now make the Mac ‘n Cheetos at home.
Starting with cold mac and cheese (PopSugar claims these should be “leftovers,” but when have you ever left an unnaturally colored piece of pasta without a warm place in your stomach?), the above video will guide you through the entire process of making Burger King’s newest menu item — from freezing the macaroni into vaguely Cheetos looking shapes to blending the right amount of Cheetos to form the outer shell of the delicious monstrosity you will eat in front of your TV. The only thing the video doesn’t teach you? How to get all that violent orange coloring off everything you’ve ever touched in the process. PopSugar may fool you into thinking you’ll be okay with their bright white video kitchen, but we all know that once you’ve eaten enough Cheetos, you either have to move or rearrange your decor so that everything in your apartment can hide the fact that it looks like Garfield may have been murdered in your living room.
Here’s how to make these things:
Hacked Mac ‘N Cheetos
Inspired by Burger King
2 cups cold, leftover mac and cheese, homemade or from a box
2 cups Cheetos
1/2 cup milk
1 cup flour
High heat oil, for frying
Roll cold macaroni ‘n cheese into 2″ logs. Place on baking sheet and then freeze for 2 hours.
Place Cheetos into a food processor and process until it’s a fine crumb.
Whisk together eggs and milk in a small bowl and place flour in a third bowl. Dip macaroni logs into flour mixture, then the egg mixture, and finally in the Cheetos mixture. Place on a baking sheet and freeze a second time for 30 minutes.
Heat oil to 350ºF.
Fry for 2 to 3 minutes or until the outside is just starting to turn golden brown. Let drain on a paper towel lined plate. Serve warm with ranch dressing.
Cook Time: 2 hours
The process is fairly time-consuming — what with all the freezing and shaping — but that’s probably for the best. At Burger King, you could order endless amounts of Mac n’ Cheetos and spend the entire day eating them while you binge on whatever show you settle for on Netflix after a three-hour search. If you cook these at home, though, you’re going to spend way more time making than eating, ensuring that you won’t give yourself a coronary by the time you’re done.
Of course, even the above recipe claims that it’s meant for 5. Nice try, PopSugar, but…