The CDC Makes It Clear That Your Local Swimming Pool Is Disgusting


The fact that public swimming pools are slimy cesspools of awful is more than evident to anyone whose parents couldn’t afford a blissful backyard oasis. But the CDC has confirmed our endless cache of anecdotal evidence with a new report showing just how nasty America’s public pools are.

The report released under the snappy title of “Immediate Closures and Violations Identified During Routine Inspections of Public Aquatic Facilities — Network for Aquatic Facility Inspection Surveillance” followed public pool inspections across five states and showed that an absolutely insane number of pools are operating in ways that could be a danger to public health.

Of the 84,187 inspections covered in the report, just over 12 percent resulted in immediate closure of the pool. Another 12 percent of inspections found “disinfectant concentration violations” that could make it easier for disease to spread via the pools. That’s pretty high. Who wants to play 1-10 infected-pool roulette?

At least one code violation was found in an astounding 78 percent of inspections. The report’s authors note that there is a “need to improve operation and maintenance of U.S. public aquatic facilities,” which is science talk for: “public swimming pools are gross as hell.”

Of course, private swimming pools aren’t exactly safe havens. If you do happen to have a plebeian-free swimming spot, there’s still the risk of bears and getting German suplexed.