It’s five days into the new year, so inevitably some of us have made a Sisyphean New Year’s resolution and purchased a gym membership we’ll never use. (Though, to be fair, if it were truly Sisyphean, that would be one hell of a workout.)
Gyms are counting on people not using those low-cost monthly memberships; their business model is centered around signing up “lumpen sadballs” who get a rush of “hope endorphins” followed by zero follow-through upon joining up, or at least that’s the argument made in this honest ad by Cracked. They just eviscerated gym culture in the same way they slammed fast-food commercials.
If nothing else, the ad is worth it for the names of the fake classes available at “Horton’s Center To Move Around In”:
- Panic Cycling
- Get Yelled At While Moving
- Probably Aerobics
- Word That Means ‘Muscular’
- Sexy Muscular
- Always Feel Sorry
- MMA For Office
- Military Veteran Who Kills
- M.A.N.L.Y. A.C.R.O.N.Y.M.
- Group Text
- Everything Is Dope
- Zumba
- Dance Dance Revolution
I think I’m enrolled in that “Always Feel Sorry” class, but not voluntarily. Anyway, check out the video above for some sad truths about yoga, automatic re-enrollments, and germs. Germs everywhere.
(Via Laughing Squid)
