Alternate Facts Pizza Is Here And It’s Got Zero Calories

Alternative facts is the Orwellian buzzword of the week. Kellyanne Conway used the term to describe Press Secretary Sean Spicer’s delusions during his first press conference and the internet world went wild coming up with other #AltFacts. Suddenly you could make up any old outlandish lie and just call it an alternative fact instead of, you know… bullsh*t.

This led to a surge in the sales of Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four, presumingly so everyone can brush up on Newspeak. And now we’re seeing Conway’s leit motif appear across another spectrum of our culture — food. Villa Italian Kitchen has jumped on the alternative facts train and is advertising their pizza in a way we’re sure will make Conway proud.

Their new pizza is a ” a zero-calorie 6-slice pizza loaded with all your favorites: bacon, pepperoni, ham, sausage, house made sauce and 100% whole-milk mozzarella.” Indeed, it’s too good to be true. But it’s an Alternate Fact pizza, so it is true… somehow.

Twitter is enjoying the new alternate fact pizza and is looking forward to eating a zero calorie pie ASAP!

https://twitter.com/KurtAbersold/status/823544422683942912

Villa Italian Kitchen has 300 stores in six countries where their miraculous zero-calorie pizza will be available. So ease your fears and dive into that delicious sounding pizza. We hear it’s doubleplusgood, but that may be an alternate fact.

(Via Newsweek)