Nothing says “Happy Valentine’s Day!” Like a nice doughnut. We guess. Maybe?
Okay, perhaps doughnuts aren’t the first pastry that comes to mind when you think about February 14th, but that didn’t stop Krispy Kreme from unloading a whole line of heart-shaped Valentine’s Day themed doughnuts in celebration of the day, and you know what? We’re not mad at it. We’ve never needed a reason to eat a doughnut before. Heart-shaped, star-shaped, a giant doughnut in the shape of a turkey for Thanksgiving — whatever, fuck it, we’re always down for fried dough.
Obviously, we’re not alone:
WikiLeaks: Ariana Grande's doughnut-licking allegedly got her White House performance canned https://t.co/51wOUfwlu1 pic.twitter.com/QP9lIaClNp
— First We Feast (@firstwefeast) July 25, 2016
For a limited time, Krispy Kreme is offering the four adorable heart-shaped doughnuts that you can purchase alone or as a dozen, sold in a valentine card-themed box. But before you drop down the big bucks on a box and send them to your valentine, you’re probably going to want to know if they’re any good. So we tried all four of them to see whether grabbing the dozen is the move, or you’re better off just sticking with the best of the bunch.
Here are our thoughts on each doughnut, from worst to best. Let’s dunk!
Bee Mine
Is it possible for a doughnut to be too sweet? Had I been asked this question before I tried Krispy Kreme’s Bee Mine doughnut, I would’ve confidently said ‘no,’ but after tasting this… I’m not so sure. I think this might be too sweet, fam.
I know you don’t want to hear that because I mean look at this doughnut, it’s fucking adorable. I get that, but it’s too much. The Bee Mine is filled with strawberry cream filling and topped with thick candy-like red icing. Artificial strawberry on its own is sweet enough as it is, but when mixed with Krispy Kreme’s ultra-sweet ‘Kreme’ filling it becomes way too overwhelming.
Of the whole lineup, this was my least favorite — as adorable as it is. It’s sickly sweet.
The Bottom Line:
Love bombing in food form. It’s just too much.
My Batter Half
As the name would suggest, this doughnut has a birthday cake-like quality to it courtesy of a healthy injection of cake batter filling. However, unlike the Bee Mine, the My Batter Half’s simpler flavors are more complimentary.
The pink-icing-cake-batter-filling combo does bring a lot of sweetness to the palate, but the texture of the red, pink, and white heart sprinkles does a lot to keep the experience from tasting too overwhelming like the Bee Mine. Yes, the sprinkles are sweetened too, obviously, but the added texture kind of mutes the intensity of the cream filling’s sugariness.
The Bottom Line:
A step up from the Bee Mine, but a little too sweet for this Goldilocks’s palate.
Cookies To My Kreme
Goddamn, this is good. This doughnut single-handedly makes the whole concept of these themed-doughnuts work. Featuring a white icing glaze with a chocolate drizzle and cookies and cream filling, this doughnut takes everything good from the previous two doughnuts and actually makes it work.
It’s got texture, thanks to a mix of soft and hard sugar sprinkles as well as the tiny granules of Oreo-like cookies in the house-made cream filling, which also helps to deliver the sweetness offered in the other two cream-filled doughnuts.
The Bottom Line:
If you (or your Valentine) are all about the cream-filled doughnuts this one is going to offer you the best experience. It has a great texture and a nice balance of sweet flavors that take you through notes of cream, cookie, and chocolate.
Beary Best Valentine
Here we are at the top. Now, I might be a bit biased on this one because I prefer non-cream-filled doughnuts to their cream-filled counterparts but hear me out, this is the ideal way to experience the best of both worlds.
Instead of injecting this heart-shaped, bear-faced doughnut with sweet cream, Krispy Kreme opted to place dollops on the face of the doughnut. This allows you to perfectly distribute how much cream you want in every bite, or, you know just remove the cream entirely.
I’m not sure why throughout this line of new flavors Krispy Kreme felt like going light on the chocolate (and the sprinkles) but I think that was a major misstep. Valentine’s Day and chocolate are synonymous, so why is this the only doughnut that delivers on the flavor?
The Bottom Line:
Skip the dozen, just buy one of these. It is by far the best Valentine’s Day doughnut that Krispy Kreme stocks.
Find your nearest Krispy Kreme here.