If family comedies have taught us anything, it’s that buying a home is a surefire way to turn life into a zany adventure that will ultimately bring everyone just a little closer together. On the flip side, horror films have taught us that sinking all that money into real estate will either put you on the receiving end of a home invasion or a terrifying haunting that will eventually be badly reviewed by Rotten Tomatoes. Not convinced one way or the other? Let this map describing exactly what you could afford if you weren’t buying a home in your state help make up your mind.
Estately, which has recently brought us informative maps about where to move if you want to smoke weed all day and the most embarrassing things people are searching for in the state you’re proud to call home, has now brought us something even more important: The knowledge that in California, you’d have to make the difficult decision of whether to buy a house or throw a party at which Nickelback will play a selection of their greatest hits for you (with a $341,700 price tag). Tough decision, right? Buy some place to live or hear “How You Remind Me,” played live (the way it was meant to be heard).
But the tough decisions don’t stop there. Here’s the full map of things that cost the same as the median price of a house in your state:
Some of these suggestions are, of course, frivolous, but the idea of hiring four lobbyists to work for you in D.C. ($454,500), buying 6642 velour track suits in new Jersey ($319,900), or enough armor for five guinea pigs in Kansas ($129,400) all have legit appeal. And if you those are the wildest suggestions on the list, you’re very, very wrong. If you live in Rhode Island, you could buy an island in Florida ($241,500) instead of actual shelter. It’s called “Hangover Island” and it’s waiting for you.
Check out the full breakdown of what you could buy here and then share it with your loved ones who are freaking out about buying a house in today’s economy. We promise they’ll be pleased to learn that they could hire Macklemore to do “Thrift Shop” until he loses his voice or purchase 17 million ladybugs instead. No idea what you’d do with all those insects, but it’s bound to be just as rewarding as a two bed/two bath with an above-ground swimming pool.