What’s your default order at Subway? A BMT on wheat, hold the Tastier? The Meatball Marinara on Asiago, with extra cheese? When I was a kid, I would always get the Seafood and Crab with mayonnaise on top. Twelve inches of fake crabmeat, generic white cheese slices, greasy mayo — how could you go wrong?
Twenty-some years later, my palate has matured a little — but that doesn’t mean that I don’t still slather my sandwiches with mayo every chance I get. It may be gross, but it sure as heck is tasty.
When it comes to subs, there are grosser things than a little bit of extra mayonnaise — just ask any of Subway’s “sandwich artists.” The topic recently came up on Reddit, when user Mister_Scorpion asked the question, “What is the worst Subway sandwich possible, using actual ingredients from Subway?”
The comments quickly came rolling in—10,590, as of typing this. The top-voted response came from MindOfAnEnt, who wrote:
I’m a manager at Subway worst thing I’ve seen is wheat bread half a bottle of mayo with pickles and toasted. She ate the whole thing. Before I leave today I’ll make the top rated sub and take pictures of every step and post it! Give me your worst!!!
Another top comment came from thistimethatonetime, detailed the saucy monstrosity ordered bi-weekly from a kid with a “sinister laugh”:
Previous Subway “sandwich artist” here. The worst I’ve seen is white bread, cheese, and 3 lines of every single sauce. Disgusting.
When you fold it and get ready to cut in half, the insides squirt out at every which angle. This kid would just have the most sinister laugh every time he saw us cut his sandwich in half. Ordered the thing twice a week, every week until I quit.
NoBudgetBallin confirmed customers’ abnormal sauce cravings, and then added a knock on a sandwich that sounds oddly familiar…:
People who wanted way too much sauce like this were a dime a dozen at my store. Probably one in every 20 customers would drown their disgusting sandwiches in oil, vinegar, sweet onion, southwestern sauce, and mayo.
BUT, the worst was the guy who always got double seafood salad, on white, microwaved (not toasted) with extra mayo. That abortion of a sandwich made me gag every time he came in.
Fofolito wrote of a father-son duo with serious sandwich-making issues:
Former Sandwich Whisperer here (I was better than a mere Artist):
Son ordered a footlong olive sandwich with oil, vinegar, american cheese, salt, herbs, and the meat from a BMT (peperoni, ham, and salami). I say an Olive sandwich because I ended up dumping an entire cambro of olives on that f*cker. Oh, then I microwaved it for him.
Father ordered a Seafood Sandwich (Minced Krab and mayo) with meatballs and marinara, double american cheese and lettuce and tomato microwaved.
Those two weren’t right, I tell yah
Brazenbull_ decided to take the question a different way, detailing his favorite sandwich — yet, most terrible health-wise — to make during his high-school days at Subway:
Best tasting but worst for you (also I don’t think you can actually get it anymore) I worked at a Subway in high school and designed this beast to make the most of the one free sandwich per shift we were allowed.
- Cover both sides of the bread with cheese(~12-16 slices)
- Add tomato to both sides(single layer)
- Sprinkle with oregano
- Toast that bitch – This results in melted cheese and some delicious dried tomato.
- Add salami
- pepperoni
- chicken parmesan (the reason I don’t think this can be done anymore)
- toast that bitch one more time
- add the red sauce from the meatballs
- olives
- onions
I think that was everything
That thing was a hefty monster and delicious. Actually paying for one would be around $16 I think given the double meat and triple cheese. Side note, the cheese coating at the start is partially because I love cheese but it also acted as a sealant to prevent the bread from getting too moist and falling apart under all that weight.
Edit: I feel sorry for and apologize to any Subway employees actually forced to make this thing, it takes a while.
Customers chimed in too; MyDamnBlog wrote of a friend’s accidentally-terrible sandwich order, made for delivery and thus uncorrectable:
I had a friend accidentally order this (we ordered lunch from Subway and had it delivered in high school)
9-grain bread. Lettuce and mustard.
That’s all.
Littlebigs5 pitched in with a legitimately terrible-sounding combination of meat and fish:
Meatball and tuna with double squirt of sweet onion chicken teriyaki sauce. Not toasted.
Edit- not toasted so all the ingredients are lukewarm and the bread gets wet /mushy. Also this is the best day ever!
And InGordWeTrust decided to take the challenge literally, and came up with what might legitimately be the worst “sandwich” creation of all:
Well you said any ingredients from Subway? Get a sub. Let’s go with a foot long BMT on Italian Herb and Cheese. Toasted? No. Double cheese? Yes. Fill it up with lettuce. That’s the only topping that you need.
Next up, order a large Pepsi. Now submerge your sub inside of your cup of Pepsi. Let it soak up all that soda.
Next up… Eat your Pepsi sandwich. The soaked bread will be terrible. The wet lettuce will be horrible. The meat that they put on will be gross. Finally you’ve just ruined your soda too.
Edit: If they have Coke instead of Pepsi, use Coke Zero instead.
As for how each of these taste? Tough to say, but Mister_Scorpion is up for the challenge, saying, “I will eat the highest rated comment and report back.” Mister_Scorpion, it’s probably going to involve a whole lot of mayo, and possibly submersion in Coke Zero. Good luck, pal.
