Greetings, fight fans! UFC Fight Night 89, is live from Ottawa, which claims to be the capital city of Canada. Fights kick off at 6:45 p.m. on Fight Pass with prelim action, so let’s take a look at who’s gonna win and how they’ll get it done.
2016 Important Results:
Jessica: 99-83-4 (54 percent)
Burnsy: 80-77-3 (51 percent)
Ryan: 5-1 (83 percent)
Jason: 19-16-1 (54 percent)
Jackman: 7-5 (58 percent)
Enrique: 7-5 (58 percent)
Jamie: 16-13-1 (55 percent)
Justin: 13-4 (76 percent)
Marty: 20-12-1 (62 percent)
Jared: 13-11 (54 percent)
Parker: 3-4 (43 percent)
Team Davis: 53-42-3 (56 percent)
Flyweight – Ali “Puncher King” Bagautinov vs Geane “Revolutionary” Herrera
Jessica: Hopefully the Tinystani can stay clean and maybe re-establish himself as a top flyweight. I’m taking Ali “Duffel” Bags to punch out Geane, Geane the Sleeping Machine with a second round KO.
Burnsy: My picks have been downright awful thus far in 2016, so I need to shake things up and get my head back in the game. How do I do that? No idea. Puncher King wins because he’s apparently the King of Punching.
Jason: I want to let the world know that I went 14/15 on my EA UFC 2 picks while simultaneously forgetting to submit my picks to dear Jessica, so that means my picks are going to suck. Bagautinov!
Welterweight – Jonathan “The French Spider” Meunier vs Colby “Chaos” Covington
Jessica: Meunier is a short notice replacement, but Covington beat Mike Pyle, so he is my mortal enemy. I’m taking Meunier to win by second round TKO.
Burnsy: A French Spider? Please, I deal with Florida spiders on a daily basis and they are bad little monsters that cannot be stopped. So, forgive me if I don’t take a wine-sipping, cigarette-smoking spider all that seriously. Chaos wins this one.
Jason: Burnsy, the French Spider doesn’t sip wine or smoke cigarettes, it just wears a horizontally stripped shirt with a beret. Come on! I’m taking Meunier.
Strawweight – Randa “Quiet Storm” Markos vs Jocelyn “Lights Out” Jones-Lybarger
Jessica: This might be a sneaky secret good fight. It has higher potential to be kind of dull and grindy, but I think these two might just say “eff it” and throw hands for fifteen minutes. I’m taking Markos to get a decision, but I think JJL puts in a very solid performance.
Burnsy: Nah, I’m buying into JJL here. Jocelyn has always struck me as a sort of a female-badass name. Although, I do think her nickname should be Jostlin’.
Jason: I agree with Jessica, this could be one hell of a fight, and it’s a toss up as to who wins. I think it will be Lybarger, because one of them follows me on Twitter.
Middleweight – Elias “The Spartan” Theodorou vs Sam “Smile’N” Alvey
Jessica: It’s a Disney prince versus the weird comic relief sidekick! These two like to knock people out, so this should be fun as heck. I gotta give the advantage to Elias, but that’s just because he follows me on the tweeters. Theodorou wins by second round KO.
Burnsy: Which Spartan is Elias? I think he’s the Spartan that is good, but not the one that I like. I can’t remember because there are 400 UFC fighters with the nickname Spartan. That said, I love Sam and wish he would win all of his fights. He’s not the best fighter, but I’ll pick him every time because he has the best personality.
Jason: Theodorou and Alvey, eh? This has the potential to be a FOTN candidate. Alvey has a lot of wear on his tires, but I think he’ll pull out the win over the relatively green Theodorou, who definitely has a decent future ahead of him.
Bantamweight – Chris “The Real Deal” Beal vs Joe “One Bad Mofo” Soto
Jessica: Joe Soto has hit one heck of a brick wall. From a six fight win streak that got him into the UFC, to now a three-fight losing skid probably has his job in jeopardy. Beal’s on a two fight losing streak, so this could mean someone’s getting cut. I’m going to give the nod to Soto here, mostly because I don’t recall being impressed with Beal in his previous fights. Soto wins by third round TKO.
Burnsy: I thought for sure that Soto would have been pink-slipped after his last loss, but I guess enough fighters have been given the boot in recent months that he can have one more chance. He’ll still lose, though.
Jason: This is the one where Soto gets back on track. Beal is no big deal.
Middleweight – Tamdan “The Barncat” McCrory vs Krzysztof Jotko
Jessica: Baaarn Caaat! I’m taking Tamdan to continue his run and put out Jotko in the first with a submission.
Burnsy: I will take the fighter whose name I can pronounce. Tamdan wins. (Even though I probably mispronounce his name, too.)
Jason: Krzysztof Jotko has to be the pick here. Has to be. Especially if both of you are picking the Barncat(!!!).
Light Heavyweight – Misha Cirkunov vs Ion Cutelaba
Jessica: Despite being the name of an adorable scientist, Ion Cute Lab has really only beaten up total scrubs. Misha has at least faced UFC competition, which means people with winning percentages about .500, which is always good. I’m taking Cirkunov to win by second round submission.
Burnsy: Who? I have no clue who these people are. Whatever, coin flip, Ion Cutelabia wins. I mean Cutelaba.
Jason: Misha will win and win via violent finish.
Lightweight – Jason Saggo vs Leandro “Buscape” Silva
Jessica: Silva beat Effy Escudero, which makes me very happy. Saggo hasn’t done a whole heck of a lot in the UFC, which makes me incapable of caring about him. Silva wins by decision.
Burnsy: BOO-SCUH-PAY! I love shouting that nickname. It’s so much fun. BOO-SCUH-PAY WINS!
Jason: Damn Burnsy and his logic. Buscape!!!
Flyweight – Valerie “Trouble” Letourneau vs Joanne “Bad Mofo Jojo” Calderwood
Jessica: Oh dip! This is gonna be a rad fight. Calderwood’s Muay Thai is pretty snazzy, but Letourneau did well against Joanna Champion’s kickboxing. Letourneau should be able to muscle around Jojo since flyweight is the right division for her. I don’t like typing this, but I’m taking Letourneau to win by third round TKO.
Burnsy: Mary Kay is a pretty badass fighter and I think she learned a lot from her loss to JoJo Champs. (It took me 10 years to remember how to spell Mike Krzyzewski, and I just don’t have the mental capacity to learn how to spell her last name.) Trouble gets the W.
Jason: I will never ever pick against Jojo. Calderwood via 2nd rd TKO.
Lightweight – Olivier “The Quebec Kid” Aubin-Mercier vs Thibault “GT” Gouti
Jessica: Gouti got friggin ran over in his UFC debut. OAM went the distance with Carlos Diego Ferreira last time out, which is kind of impressive for a lower-mid level guy. I’m taking Olivier to befuddle Gouti with his Quebecois mangling of the French language and use that to win a decision.
Burnsy: I feel like we haven’t heard from The Quebec Kid in a very long time, which doesn’t mean anything other than I like doing my bad French-Canadian lumberjack impression while watching him fight. OAM gets the win here.
Jason: The hometown advantage is real in other sports, but not so much in MMA. Still, the Quebec Kid grabs this.
Light Heavyweight – Steve “The Boss” Bosse vs Sean “The Real OC” O’Connell
Jessica: I won’t begrudge O’Connell’s loss to Ilir Latifi, the Fire Hydrant that Walks Like a Man. Bosse recently beat up James The Tuna, but I still don’t Believe in The Boss. I”m taking O’Connell to win the weekend with some fun antics a the weigh-ins and then win the fight with a second round TKO.
Burnsy: Steve “The Boss” Bosse… it’s just such a lazy nickname. I can’t even believe that’s real and not one of the jobber guys you face on those awful freemium fighting games for the iPad. I’ll take Sean even though The OC was a terrible TV show.
Jason: Someone is going to get knocked out in this fight. That much is known. Who gets knocked out is the real question. I think it’ll be O’Connell, but it’s a crapshoot.
Welterweight – Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone vs Patrick “The Predator” Cote
Jessica: This should be fun times. Cote’s got good striking and a pretty solid chin, so I don’t think Cowboy will be able to go for his patented “rock him and then submit him” plan. However, Cowboy, when he remembers that his legs are really good, can kick the mess outta Cote’s legs. I’m taking Cerrone to win by third round (leg kick) TKO.
Burnsy: I have to take Cowboy here because I want him to get back to winning, so he’ll keep fighting every month and continue to be a great fighter that barely gets the recognition he deserves because he isn’t flashy enough for the powers that be, despite being a beer-drinking, cowboy-hat-wearing man of ‘Merica. The hell does it take to get this guy a few more main events? (Aside from winning his title shots, obviously. Shut up.)
Jason: Whoa, Cerrone is on this card? Yeah, I’ll take him. Cote has looked really, really slow of late.
Welterweight – Stephen “Wonderboy” Thompson vs Rory “The Red King” MacDonald
Jessica: Oh man! Oh Man! OH MAN! I’m kind of mad that these dudes are fighting each other instead of one of them fighting Brutal Bob Lawler for the title, but whatever. Thompson’s striking is super great, but Rory’s a very solid kickboxer in his own right. Rory’s got an edge in grappling, but Stephen’s take down defense has been improving a lot. I’m giving a slight overall edge to Thompson, but it’s going to be really close. Wonderboy wins by fourth round TKO.
Burnsy: I remember a time when Rory was the NEXT GUY and he was going to replace GSP as THE GUY when it came to shutting his opponents down and stifling them into unanimous decisions. Sure, that sounds boring to a bro like me, but I really thought he was the next big champ in the welterweight division. So, here he is fighting for a title shot, and as much as I like Wonderboy and want him to win, I think Rory Mac takes it in a calculating, complete match.
Jason: I personally don’t believe that Wonderboy has fought anyone of worth yet. Johnny Hendricks was/is incredibly overrated, believed in his hands too much, and got hit far too much. There are few fighters that could take out “first 3 rounds” MacDonald, and I think Rory takes this, then heads off to test free agency like a boss. Of course, I’d love to see Wonderboy win, just because of his awesomeness and to get away from a potential third MacDonald/Robbie fight (or Rory/Woodley 2), but I can’t see it happening. Rory MacDonald via rd 3 TKO. Probably elbows from like, side control or som sh*t.
Performance of the Night
Jessica: McCrory, Theodorou
Burnsy: Cerrone, BOO-SCUH-PAY!
Jason: Calderwood, Cerrone (how can you ever pick against Cerrone making extra money?).
Fight of the Night
Jessica: Thompson vs MacDonald
Burnsy: Cerrone vs Cote
Jason: Thompson vs MacDonald