Comedy has a rule of three, and so do celebrities. If three famous people (or couples) do something, it’s officially a trend. And the latest “celebs are it again” trend is not bathing.
First it was Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher saying that they only bathe their kids when “you can see the dirt on them.” Then Kristen Bell admitted that she’s a “big fan of waiting for the stink. Once you catch a whiff, that’s biology’s way of letting you know you need to clean it up.” Jake Gyllenhaal has completed the trifecta with his anti-taking-a-bath take.
When asked by Vanity Fair if there’s anything “revelatory” about his bathing rituals, the Nightcrawler star replied, “I always am baffled that loofahs come from nature. They feel like they’ve been made in a factory but, in fact, it’s just not true. Since I was young, it’s amazed me. More and more I find bathing to be less necessary, at times. I do believe, because Elvis Costello is wonderful, that good manners and bad breath get you nowhere. So I do that. But I do also think that there’s a whole world of not bathing that is also really helpful for skin maintenance, and we naturally clean ourselves.”
It would be one thing if Gyllenhaal said he doesn’t take a daily bath or shower because he wants to conserve water. I understand that. But his cat-grooming-itself logic of “a whole world of not bathing that is also really helpful for skin maintenance” is curious. I’m not saying it’s time to put Jake in a bubble again, but I’m also not NOT saying it.
Between his peculiar grooming habits, and Taylor Swift confirming that the 10-minute version of “All Too Well” (a song written about Jake) will be on Red (Taylor’s Version), it’s been a rough day for Gyllenhaal. I’d say he should hit the showers, but… you know.
https://twitter.com/watermeIanchoIy/status/1423653154118324232
This is why Taylor Swift broke up with him 😭
— caitlyn (@vntagecait) August 6, 2021
https://twitter.com/eternalswilson/status/1423653109008588800
Taylor announced All Too Well and he lost it already 💀
— mo (@everlikeme) August 6, 2021
“I believe that good manners and bad breath get you nowhere. So I do that."
what the hell does this mean
— ken’s rights activist (@lunarkid91) August 6, 2021
Please make the unhygienic celebrities stop https://t.co/hSObUC38z5
— Brooke Binkowski (@brooklynmarie) August 6, 2021
I also bathed less at times during the pandemic, but I called it depression. https://t.co/gKvbJ5oTxX
— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) August 6, 2021
I think this explains why Taylor didn’t want the scarf… https://t.co/K1dnbi9dM8 pic.twitter.com/r2kXTvpjBm
— Ron (@midnightstrack2) August 6, 2021
https://twitter.com/notnotnuanced/status/1423656753896599557