Once upon a time, not that long ago, there was a holiday the day before Black Friday, when families gathered together to give thanks and eat a delicious meal and savor the beginning of a four day weekend together. These days, however, the Christmas decorations seem like they go up just minutes after Halloween, which leaves Thanksgiving seeming almost like an afterthought.
Luckily, to remind us of this uniquely American holiday, we have the Citizen Kane of Thanksgiving movies, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, an old fashioned on-the-road story written and directed by John Hughes, who had just started to break out of his teen angst template to tell the story of Neal Page (Steve Martin) — an uptight ad executive — and Del Griffith (John Candy) — an obnoxious but good-hearted traveling salesman who specializes in shower curtain rings — as the two make their way back to the Windy City by any means possible. So, while you face a day of insane traffic and travel to get home, repeat some of these lines along the way.
The race for the taxi.
Okay, so it’s not quite a quote to start things off, but as soon as Gil leaves the comfort of his office, we get a real indication of just how desperate he is to make his 6 o’clock flight. Specifically, he’ll race a young Kevin Bacon through the streets of downtown Manhattan at rush hour just to try and get to the only available taxi. Even though he loses the cab, he keeps his eyes on the prize, and doesn’t give up until he’s sure he’s lost.
Interestingly, Bacon (who had already starred in Footloose), starred in John Hughes’ next directorial effort, She’s Having A Baby.
“I was wondering if I could appeal to your good nature and let me have this cab.” – Neal
Stashing a little extra aside in case you need it to bribe your way home may not be the worst idea, just in case you run into a guy like this.
“So, we charge our way home. What kinda plastic you carry?” – Del
Cash can come in short supply unexpectedly, and when it does, it pays to start thinking practically like Del here. Of course, Del’s only plastic is a big and tall men’s shop in the Pacific Northwest, which isn’t gonna do them any good at all. It pays to keep a credit card for emergencies, but, you know, a real one.
“Train don’t run outta Wichita. Less’n yer a hog or a cattle. People train run outta S-Stubville.” – Gus’s son, Owen
Remember, when in doubt, look for someone who’s local. It also helps to take Del’s advice and simply go with the flow while you’re at it.
Also, that’s Happiness and Trick ‘R Treat star Dylan Baker in his second screen role.
“Thirty miles. Maybe forty. No more than forty-five, though. Depending on which way he goes. If he takes the back roads it could be as much as seventy miles.” – Del
With GPS equipped cell phones and dozens of travel-friendly apps to rely on these days, it sure can take the terrifying mystery out of traveling. Either way, it pays to have your trip planned out in advance, but don’t be afraid to take a few detours along the way, unless they’re in the back of a pickup in the winter. You should be afraid of those.
“You ever travel by bus before? Your mood’s not gonna improve much.” – Del
As anyone who’s traveled by bus before can attest, traveling by bus has never helped anyone’s bad mood, and Neal is no exception. Del, on the other hand, finds himself right at home, leading everyone in rousing sing-alongs of TV theme song favorites, and making the most out of his situation, for better or worse. Then again, that’s what Del does best.
“I’ve been thinking when we put our heads together… we really… got nowhere.” – Neal
With Neal dwelling on his home life (or his lack of one), his mood quickly goes from bad to worse, pushing him to break away from his impromptu travel partner, deciding it’d be best to make it the rest of the way on his own. The obvious lesson here is never give up on your friends, the road can be a lonely place, and it can be hard to go at it alone.
“You can start by wiping that f*cking dumbass smile off of your rosy f*cking cheeks.” – Neal
When Neal’s left in a parking lot with keys to a car that isn’t there, the profanity-filled rant that follows, while hilarious, doesn’t help his situation, even though he threw away his rental agreement, being a little nicer about it wouldn’t have hurt. This is still lost on him when he tells off the very next guy who tries to rent a car, which almost gets his head crushed like a melon — which proves that absolutely nothing good comes from being rude.
Aside from truly great comedy, of course.
“How can you break a car seat? It’s impossible!” – Del
Contrary to Del’s insistence, you can, in fact, break a car seat.
“Please, have mercy. I’ve been wearing the same underwear since Tuesday.” – Neal
In a true ‘darkest before the dawn’ moment, Neal begs the overnight clerk (Martin Ferrero) for a room to sleep in in exchange for his last $17 and “a hell of a nice watch.” Even though it was clearly the watch that closed the deal, it’s nice to think that his well-worn underwear helped him win a little bit of sympathy with the clerk, especially so close to Thanksgiving. Don’t be afraid to bargain, and don’t be afraid to exploit your own personal tragedies you’ve encountered along the way to try and tip the odds in your favor.
“You are one lucky guy, Neal.” – Del
When they arrive in Chicago at long last, Neal’s suspicions about Del are confirmed, that he’s a lonely man who wanders the country selling shower curtain rings. By the time he finally makes it home, he realizes the holiday wouldn’t be complete without inviting Del to be a part of it. Moreover, after living out of an oversized trunk for the last several years, Del reminds Neal how lucky he is, which is something worth remembering when you finally get where you’re going.
