How Matt Hardy Got His #Broken Groove Back Through The Holiday Magic Of Thanksgiving

11.29.16 1 year ago 3 Comments

This Thanksgiving, Impact Wrestling put its own stamp on America’s love letter to togetherness and tryptophan. The #BROKEN saga of the Hardy Boys marches on, but this time, the works got all gummed up with the holiday whimsy of sweatervests and retrograde amnesia. But — we’re getting ahead of ourselves here.

When we last visited the Hardy Compound, their #BROKEN family had successfully deleted the invading members of The Decay on Halloween night. Before they could settle in to enjoy hoards of candy while re-bleaching their grey streaks, another enemy appeared at the door. This led to an ongoing feud with The DCC, a stable possibly created by a sixteen-year-old boy who just started getting into Mr. Robot and Naomi Klein. Their battle would lead to a brutal backstage fight, culminating with Matt Hardy fighting a masked DCC member on top of a raised forklift. That forklift would be Matt’s undoing, however, as a fall from the top seemingly left him with complete and total amnesia.

Now, Matt has traded in his silk cargo pants and crazy eyes for selections from the Kerwin White Fall Collection and ice cream socials. No, seriously. His concerned wife Reby has summoned Brother Nero to help bring Matt back from the horrors of white mediocrity. Jeff is equally perplexed by this change in Matt, and attempts to reverse his obvious brain damage by doing his very own Broken Matt Hardy impression.

Needless to say, it doesn’t work as well as Jeff had hoped.

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