If you have even a passing familiarity with independent wrestling superstar Joey Ryan (or with this website, With Spandex), you’ll know that he’s been taking the world by storm for the past few years due to his superhuman penile antics. Since the advent of Ryan’s prodigious appendage creating the (sponsored) YouPorn Plex, his penis has been flipping increasing amounts of people in increasingly more preposterous situations.
Ryan has parlayed his ludicrous antics into a Lucha Underground contract, a comic book based on his “life,” and worldwide renown. In fact, Joey is becoming such a big (engorged) deal on his own, without the help of WWE, that even super-duper-established household names want to get in on the action. The action of grabbing him by the dick.
At a recent OTT Wrestling event in Dublin, Ireland, Mick Foley became the latest person to run afoul of Joey Ryan’s angered dong. He attempted to hit Joey in the mouth with Mr. Socko, and an extremely crafty Ryan figured out the ultimate counter: his ferocious wang.
Let this be a lesson to you, Mick: always aim at where Joey Ryan’s penis ISN’T going to be. This was all in good fun, of course. But you know who didn’t have fun? Jim Cornette! Shocking, I know.
Luckily, Joey and Mick are having enough fun for all of us.
God bless Joey Ryan, because without him, we’d have at least like 40 percent less penis stuff in wrestling. And that’s not nearly enough penis stuff.