A Deer Busted Through A Gold’s Gym Window, Did Its Own Workout Cycle, Then Ran Off

The Planet of the Deer is upon us, fellow humans. Stockpile emergency food rations and make weapons out of anything you can get your hands on, because the rise of the woodland critters is beginning, and the deer are now even teaching themselves to condition for a long battle.

Case in point: On Friday, employees and buff clients of a Gold’s Gym in Anderson, South Carolina were startled when a deer burst through a window and ran through the joint like he owned the place.

Fortunately, no one was hurt in this attack, but as this additional footage shows, even the most shredded among us are woefully unprepared for battle with this quick and nimble species.

Employees and swole bros tried to run the deer out of the gym, but the four-legged monster only kept at his conditioning routine, so as to outrun any retaliatory efforts our world’s combined militaries might make in a last ditch effort to save the planet.

Hunter and Ross, bless their hearts, were simply outwitted against this diabolical agent of destruction. But we salute their bravery and hope they serve as inspiration to the rest of us who are currently staring at our own windows and asking, “When?”

This isn’t the first deer assault of December either. Earlier this month, a Maryland teen was eating cereal in his kitchen when a deer jumped through his window and assaulted his Christmas tree. That’s right: The War on Christmas is REAL and it is being led by deer.

https://twitter.com/JaniceparkNews/status/809845828663836672

No longer will they guide Santa’s sleigh. Instead, they will guide our demise. All of this is undoubtedly in retaliation for the recent deaths of deer, like the nameless one-antlered victim of New York and New Jersey politics. That deer died from heavy sedation while fat cats argued over its fate. They may have determined ours instead.