I tried to find a picture of a bull standing triumphantly in the streets of Pamplona with a bunch of dead, trampled people and some destroyed buildings in the background, but apparently that never happens, and it’s just about 50,000 people herding an animal to a stadium where it’s stabbed in the neck repeatedly until it dies, and then a guy dressed like a figure skater celebrates like he accomplished something difficult.
Sports
Bulls on Parade: A Heartwarming Gallery from the 2011 Running of the Bulls – There’s a big post about this directly beneath me, but if you’re the type who clicks directly into these things and/or has problems with short-term memory loss, please revisit Friday’s gallery of drunk people, confetti showers and bulls about to stomp Spanish people to death. With Leather
The Hot Girl Swedish Sweater Swap – Another choice post from Friday that you might’ve missed is this one, which starts off as a “can ya believe this happened?” sort of deal and evolves into a hot girl gallery with a Swedish lady’s sweaty butt. And then it ends with a Parks and Rec joke. Basically it is the perfect way to spend 10 minutes. [With Leather]
Six People LeBron James Should Meet During the Lockout – I try to let others on the Uproxx network handle stories and editorials about LeBron, because mine are always the same. The first person I’d have him meet would be the Black Racer (from DC Comics, not from Kenya) and then the rest of the article would sort of build from that. [Smoking Section]
Not Sports
People Really Did Shut Up and Eat Their Awesome – Transformers 3: A Momentary Lapse of Reason brought in a record 999 billion dollars at the box office over the weekend, proving that we truly deserve every terrible movie some asshole spends 200 million to make. Lesson learned: People don’t want to see super heroes, they want to see blackface robots with big swinging robot balls. (note: The picture of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley featured is the best picture of her ever, because you can’t see most of her face) [Gamma Squad]
TV’s Most Memorable F-Words – Any list that features both “The Wire” and the British version of “The Office” is awesome. All it needs is an F-word from “The Wonder Years” and it’s covering the best shows ever. [Warming Glow]
10 Unfortunately Named Doctors – This is one of those things you don’t think you’re going to laugh at because, come on, you’re an adult. But then you see a guy named “Dr. Dooms” and start laughing, and pretty soon you’ve ready 45% of Buzzfeed and your Morning Links post is almost late. [Buzzfeed]
Paul Blart: Zookeeper Is the Kevin James Falling Downingest Film of the Summer – I’m happy Kevin James had a TV show for like 10 years so I can know for sure to avoid anything with Kevin James in it. You might be Paul Blart, but I’ll always remember you as the dormant homosexual who wanted to do it with Hitch. [Film Drunk]
