(This artwork is the work of David Rappoccio. You can find him on Twitter at @drawplaydave.)
Hi there. You might have clicked on this thinking that headline can’t possibly be correct. Rest assured, it is. Below, these very words are, indeed, 20 NFL players as Care Bears. Some of you might be confused and wonder what a Care Bear is. Well, youngin’ (because I assume you were born in the ’90s or later), the Care Bears are a children’s cartoon about a bunch of nice bears who tried to make children feel good about themselves with things like rainbows and unicorns. They each had a special power and personality represented by some logo on their stomachs. For example, FUNSHINE Bear had a sun on his stomach and could illuminate things because he was a radioactive mutant monster disguised as a cute toy to sell to children.
So, now you might be asking yourself Why? Why NFL players as Care Bears? Why? Just… why? Did the world need NFL players as Care Bears? Did this have to exist? Is it that slow of a news day? Did you actually spend time making this dreck? Are you stupid?
Yes.
Think about it this way: They didn’t need to exist, but now they do, so you might as well enjoy them and argue about who should have been included.
Tom Brady as…
Johnny Manziel as…
Andrew Luck as…
Marcus Mariota as…
J.J. Watt as…
Ndamukong Suh as…
Colin Kaepernick as…
Odell Beckham as…
Teddy Bridgewater as…
Andy Dalton as…
Joe Flacco as…
Jameis Winston as…
Eli Manning as…
Philip Rivers as…
Russell Wilson as…
Peyton Manning as…
Cam Newton as…
All the poor souls we lost this season as…
Greg Hardy as…
Jay Cutler as…
Okay, okay, I admit it, I just wanted to make Jay Cutler as the Don’t Care Bear, and built an entire article around that pun.
