Last week, we brought you the heartwarming Disney story of Sara Jay and Angelina Castro, the two adult film starlets who promised to suck off all of their Twitter followers if the Miami Heat won the NBA Finals. Well, the Heat won, so it’s time to start those Hoovers up, ladies. But if you had Sara and Angelina pegged as liars, guess what? You’re hella wrong, son.
On August 2, at a yet-to-be-decided location, Sara and Angelina are going to strap on the knee pads and go from suck to blow and back. So if you’re one of their followers and you want to stand in line to get a beej, stay tuned to their Twitters. Oh, before you get all bonered up, let’s discuss a few rules first.
If any member of the Heat or the coaching staff shows up, they are next in line (as long as they are followers!)
Sorry, Chris Bosh, but no hummer unless you click follow!
Whoever is a follower who shows up in either a ‘I Love Sara Jay’ or ‘Once You Go Hispanic Don’t Panic’ or Sara Jay’s Juicy ‘T.I.T.S’ Tshirt is next in line
Anyone who shows up in a TeamBJNBA Tshirt is next in line
Anyone who shows up in a Miami Heat Official Tshirt or Jersey is next in line
The next order is based on submission of complete paperwork and releases
ANYONE GETTING A BJ MUST CONSENT TO THE EVENT BEING FILMED, STREAMED LIVE and/or SOLD ON A DVD or WEBSITE in the future – NO EXCEPTIONS – Release to be posted here soon
You CAN wear a mask to cover your face to collect your BJ but ONLY if your identity is confirmed beforehand.
YOU MUST HAVE A CONFIRMED TEST FROM TALENT TESTING (at your expense) completed and emailed with a copy of your ID no later than 48 hours before the follower blow off. Information on how to test posted soon.
No admission to the event just to watch.
I’m gonna stop there for just a second. If you go to an event to watch two women blow hundreds to thousands of men, you have redefined pathetic.
But most importantly, if you’re a stinky bastard, don’t even bother.
We reserve the right to refuse entry for ANY reason, including but not limited to hygene, rude behavior, intoxication or otherwise.
A registered MALE nurse will be on the premises to inspect for hygene [sic].
To recap, if you want to get your ding dong slobbed by these two ladies, your best bet is to either play for or coach the Heat*, or at least wear one of the porn stars’ preferred t-shirts. My only question is, do they care if guys vomit? Because if I’m anything other than first in line, I’m gonna be puking all over the place.
*Huge reward to anyone who gets a picture of a Heat player or coach at this knobfest.
