We’re down to the round of the 32. But first, some analysis of what happened in the first round of The Most ’90s Band Tournament.
In the Flannel Region …
311 is always down for a battle of the bands, but this time it ended in a beautiful disaster. Maybe they should stay home next time.
I alone wasn’t the only person who thought Live deserved to advance, but in the end, it was those freaks on a leash Korn that came out on top.
Guess this tournament wasn’t all peaches for The Presidents of the United States of America.
We learned it’s the little things you need to pay attention to when creating a Most ’90s Band Tournament, like making sure the groups actually released albums in the ’90s. Which Good Charlotte didn’t. (Whoops.)
The Cranberries let Better Than Ezra linger around, but in the end they were just too good to be eliminated.
Oasis demolished Bush, but they’ll be ok because everything is zen for them.
Looks like it’s closing time for Semisonic.
They can go on a hunger strike if they want, but no protest is gonna get Temple of the Dog back in this tournament after only getting 27 percent of the vote.
In the Dr. Marten Region …
Prodigy never could find a firestarter, and it was august and everything after for the brits.
The Spin Doctors are probably regretting carrying around a pocketful of kryptonite; I have to reckon that really slowed them down in this matchup, and now they’re singing Jimmy Olsen’s blues.
Marcy Playground may have sex and candy, which is fine and dandy, but there’s nothing like moving on in this tournament.
Thanks for playing, Candlebox, but Hootie & the Blowfish left you far behind.
No rain? More like no reign for Blind Melon.
If the Barenaked Ladies had $1,000,000 they’d probably wanna buy back into this tournament, but when The Offspring come out and play they’re hard to beat.
Soul Asylum tried to creep back into its matchup against Stone Temple Pilots, but STP proved unstoppable like a runaway train.
They weren’t quite everything to everyone, but Everclear got enough votes to give The Wallflowers a bad case of 6th avenue heartache.
In the Bling Bling Region …
It seemed like nobody was down with O.P.P., and Puff Daddy can take a trip around the world to celebrate his win.
The Bone Thugz met Master P at Tha Crossroads, and not even a No Limit Soldier could stop Krayzie, Layzie, Bizzy, Wish or Flesh-n-Bone.
Salt-N-Pepa’s here, and they’re in effect. They decided to Push It against Busta Rhymes, and it worked. What’s It Gonna Be for Busta? A loss, that’s what.
Mystikal found himself in some danger even though he Keep It Hype. So it looks like it’s time we Don’t Let Go of the idea that En Vogue could make a run at the championship.
Ready Or Not, here the Fugees come. Once the voting began, there was No Diggity, no doubt that Blackstreet wasn’t up to the task.
It looks like Waterfalls aren’t the only thing TLC is chasing – they’re also chasing the Most 90s Band title. How’s It Goin’ Down for DMX? Not so great after his early exit.
Could it be a Fantastic Voyage for Coolio? Looking at the results, it would’ve taken a Revolution to move Arrested Development on to the next round.
In the Frosted Tips Region …
Here we go, one more time, everybody’s feeling fine after ’N Sync moved on. I know, I know. It’s virtual insanity that Jamiroquai couldn’t pull out the win.
Who decided to keep Shaggy out of the Round of 32? It wasn’t me. But all of you are likely tubthumping once you heard that Chumbawumba is one step closer to the ‘ship after knocking off Mr. Boombastic.
Praise You? Not hardly. Fatboy Slim couldn’t even make it out of the first round. It’s too early to tell if Smash Mouth really is an all star, but if I have to guess they’re going to get their game on and go play.
I guess Sugar Ray has to fly home after their poor showing in this tournament. They must have seen the writing on the wall or the sign that Ace of Base was just too strong a draw.
Sometimes Britney Spears runs, sometimes she hides, but she certainly wasn’t scared of Sisqo, who couldn’t unleash the dragon early enough to beat the pop princess.
It’s criminal how early Fiona Apple bowed out of this tournament, but the Backstreet Boys promised they’d “give it all I have to give,” and it looks like they’re keeping that promise.
Maybe if Ricky Martin wasn’t livin’ la vida loca, he would’ve been focused enough to take on the Hanson brothers. You might think it’s weird that Hanson moved on, but that’s why you play the games.
If the Spice Girls wannabe champions, they’re going to need more solid showings like the effort they put out against the New Radicals. You know what they say, you get what you give, and what the New Radicals gave was a big ol’ goose egg.
