Sports

Tom Brady Looked Absolutely Torched After The Bucs Super Bowl Boat Parade

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers celebrated their Super Bowl victory on Wednesday with a boat parade, and fitting with the boat theme, Tom Brady ended up three sheets to the wind by the end.

Brady, a veteran of seven championship parades, seemed to forget that he isn’t as young as he once was and years of the TB12 system had left his tolerance a little low, because as he departed the boat parade he looked COOKED, being propped up by his backup [not a staffer] as he walked by the sea of reporters at the dock.

Our first suggestion that old Touchdown Tom was vibing a bit too much was when he launched the Lombardi Trophy from boat to boat, which worked out but could’ve been a minor disaster had it found water and sank to the bottom of the river. Brady, who during the season has as rigid a diet as anyone, probably hasn’t had much in the way of alcohol in the last six months so those Bud Lights and hard seltzers were hittin’ a little more than he anticipated. Compounding the issue of a likely lower tolerance was the fact that boat drinkin’ is a different animal, as you’re out there on the water under the hot Tampa sun and it can really sneak up on you.

Luckily, Tom wasn’t tasked with steering any ships on Wednesday and you can forgive him for getting extra toasty on a celebration day. He also has a good friend there to help keep him upright and moving as he got off the boat. Now, it’s time to hydrate Tom. You’re not as young as you once were.

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