Holy cow, fight fans. In just under two weeks, UFC’s return to Dublin has imploded due to that most pernicious of mother*ckers, the dreaded Injury Bug. Stipe Miocic got an ouchy back on the 14th, scuttling his heavyweight bout against Ben Rothwell. No opponent could be found in time, so Big Ben’s off the card.
Then, just three days out, Joe Duffy had to be pulled thanks to concussion symptoms he got during a sparring session. He’s no longer taking on Dustin Poirier, who is also off the card. There are only 10 bouts left on the Fight Pass exclusive event, and hopefully every other fighter gets cased in a protective layer of bubble wrap between now and fight time, which kicks off at 1:15 p.m. ET on Fight Pass on Saturday.
Important Standings of Note:
Jessica: 493-343-5 (59 percent)
Burnsy: 498-313-6 (61 percent)
Vince: 228-148-2 (61 percent)
Ryan: 10-5-1 (66 percent)
Danny: 161-77-1 (67 percent)
Spilled: 81-60-2 (57 percent)
Sydnie: 16-12 (57 percent)
Chris: 44-15-2 (74 percent)
NY Ric: 36-26-1 (57 percent)
Ghost: 6-7 (46 percent)
Seth: 32-15 (68 percent)
Biss: 41-39-1 (51 percent)
Jared: 96-54-1 (64 percent)
Melanie: 44-23 (66 percent)
Fake Mike Goldberg: 21-16 (57 percent)
Middleweight – “The Fighting Texas Aggie” Bubba Bush vs Garreth “Soldier Boy” McLellan
Jessica: Oh jeeze. Bush lost to Kevin Casey, except that totally didn’t happen due to DRUGS, and McLellan, despite his awesome beard, lost to Some Dude. I guess I’ll go with McLellan over Bush the Lesser. Garreth wins by third round submission.
Featherweight – Darren “The Damage” Elkins vs Robert “The Hammer” Whiteford
Jessica: I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Whiteford before, but I remember Elkins having wrestley fights, and in the absence of frightening knockout power, which Whiteford doesn’t have, I’ll take Darren in this one. Elkins wins a decision.
Welterweight – Cathal “The Punisher” Pendred vs “The Octopus” Tom Breese
Jessica: BOO! BOO! BOO! Does anyone like Pendred in any capacity? I don’t remember seeing Breese before, but I don’t care. OctoTom taps Cathal in the first.
Strawweight – Aisling “Ais the Bash” Daly vs Ericka Almeida
Jessica: Daly is is a solid grapple-puncher. Almeida feasted upon the scrubs of Brazil, but she fell to her first quality opponent in Juliana Lima. Aisling should take a decision here.
Middleweight – Scott Askham vs Krzysztof Jotko
Jessica: Hey look, it’s two members of the “First Pro Loss is to Magnus Cedenblad Club”! Jotko is decision-y, while Askham tends to knock dudes the heck out. Don’t question that pig, because Ask Ham wins by second round KO.
Lightweight – Stevie “Braveheart” Ray vs Mickael “Ragnar” Lebout
Jessica: Hmm, let’s go with Stevie Ray to put this yak in line. Braveheart takes this with a decision win.
Flyweight – Neil “2Tap” Seery vs Jon Delos Reyes
Jessica: The question going into any Seery fight is “how much did he train this time?” I can’t confirm it, but I’ve heard rumors that Neil had to cover some shifts and work several doubles down at the docks, so he might not be in the best shape here. That really won’t matter, since I’m pretty sure he outclasses JDR across the board. Seery wins with a second round TKO.
Welterweight – Nicolas “Sharpshooter” Dalby vs Darren Till
Jessica: I think Till has looked a little better in the recent past, but c’mon, I gotta go with Sharpshooter. Dalby blinds Till with grappling science and gets a second round submission.
Lightweight – “Stormin” Norman Parke vs Reza “Mad Dog” Madadi
Jessica: Well, Madadi is a straight-up thief, and Uproxx Sports does not condone the cool crime of robbery. However, Parke has basically won several fights against Guys, you know, just Dudes, nobody of any real note. Reza’s been out of action for two years, but I don’t think Norm’s good enough to press him against the fence for 15 minutes straight. Madadi wins by third round submission.
Flyweight – Patrick “Paddy” Holohan vs Louis “Da Last Samurai” Smolka
Jessica: Okay, this would have been a good mid-card fight, which is what it was originally scheduled for. Now it’s a three-round main event, and that kind of has a deflated fart noise hovering above the entire card. That being said, Smolka and Holohan should GET AT IT WITH SOME VIOLENT HOBBITRY. Holohan is super dangerous on the ground, while Smolka won a fight via SUPER KICK (2Sweet Me, Da Last Samurai!). I’m taking Smolka to put the BABAP on Holohan and finish it with a third round KO.
Performance of the Night
Jessica: Breese, Ray
Fight of the Night
Jessica: Smolka vs Holohan
