It’s hard to believe, but King of the Hill has been off the air for almost five years. At least we’ll always have the memories. Specifically, the memories of Bobby Hill, the surprisingly free-spirited offspring of the notoriously tightly-wound Hank. Let’s take a look at some of Bobby’s most memorable moments. You may say “that boy ain’t right,” but we beg to differ.
The time he had a rather unconventional first kiss.
Going to your first boy-girl party can be a stressful experience for anyone, but thankfully, Bobby found a way to prepare: he practiced kissing the head that Luanne brought home from beauty school. The scenes are beyond hilarious, but unfortunately, when Hank sees what’s going on, he destroys the head once and for all, meaning Luanne is in big trouble before her big exam. But hey, thanks to all that practice, Bobby turned himself into a regular Casanova.
His glorious stint as a plus-sized model.
When Bobby finds out he has to shop at a fat kid store (his words, not mine), he’s understandably crestfallen. But when he learns he could have a career as a plus-sized model, his mood perks up considerably. Let’s face it; Bobby is a born star. He loves the camera! Sure, Hank had the right idea puling him out of that fashion show (he would have been pelted with cupcakes!), but Bobby was still a fabulous model. The world just wasn’t ready for him.
The time he and Connie put on the greatest wrestling match Arlen Middle School had ever seen.
Bobby has never been too good at sports, much to his father’s perpetual disappointment, but he takes to wrestling pretty well (“There’s no running!”). Unfortunately, Bobby and Connie — who were just friends at that point — get caught up in a fight between Peggy and a sexist wrestling coach who doesn’t think Connie belongs on the team. Since Peggy is the reason the coach had to let Connie join, he takes it out on her by having Connie fight Bobby for a spot on the team. Rather than get involved with the politics, Bobby and Connie find a way out: they stage a ridiculous WWE-style wrestling match, complete with body slams and ketchup-as-fake-blood. We never find out who makes the team, but it was nice to see that Bobby and Connie weren’t going to let one vindictive wrestling coach ruin their good time.
The time he was the best Rodeo Clown Heimlich County had ever seen.
Like many of Bobby Hill’s interest, rodeo clowning was not exactly something Hank approved of. But when Joseph was about to be gored by a bull, Bobby was the only one could save the day. Say what you will about the world of rodeo clowns, but you can’t deny that Bobby truly earned his ass pad.
The time he stole Belton High School’s beloved mascot.
When Bobby first becomes the Arlen High School mascot, he makes a fool of himself, being too afraid to participate in the “McManerbury whoopin’,” in which a bunch of band geeks beat up the mascot. He quickly becomes a pariah in the community, but he makes up for when he sneaks into another rival high school and steals their beloved mascot, an armadillo named Mr. Crackers. Bobby hides in a garbage can all night in order to pull off the heist. After that, no one could deny that Bobby Hill was the best mascot in Arlen history.
“THAT”S MY PURSE! I DON’T KNOW YOU!”
Possibly the seven funniest words ever uttered in the history of television. Sure, Bobby ultimately takes his testicle-kicking spree a little too far (and it doesn’t work when he tries it on his mother), but hey, they made him eat dirt! You’d turn to desperate measures, too.
