With so many book-to-show changes, and the fact that many plots are caught up with George R.R. Martin’s text, we’re only doing one Game of Thrones recap this season… this one. Please try to talk about last night’s episode, not plot points half a season away (context from the books will be provided as needed, though nothing will be spoiled). Also, each week’s recap will be broken down into (Faith of the) seven questions that need answering, beginning with…
1. What horrible things happened to Sansa this week?
Let’s see. She slept in a drafty cell with an open window letting in the snow. She learned that her bastard brother is more successful than her (no sibling wants to hear that). She thought she convinced Theon to light a HELP candle for her, but Reek told Ramsay, and he flayed the Northerner who said she’d come to Sansa’s rescue. Oh, and what happened last episode happens every night, and it’s not going to end for a while because Ramsay needs an heir, which is why psychological is his torture of choice. The Sansa misery sheet grows longer by the hour.
2. What will happen to Shireen?
Stannis was rejected, and Samwell got laid? What kind of topsy-turvy world is this? It’s one where the Red Woman demands that Stannis kill his own daughter for her blood. He’s obsessed with power, to an intimidating degree, but he wouldn’t actually murder Shireen, especially after that touching scene from a few episodes ago, would he? Unless that was placed there to lure us into a false sense of security. My guess is that Stannis won’t do it (Selyse, on the other hand…), but if he does, and a fan favorite kills a little girl (his little girl), it’ll be a sign that the show wants us to root for Daenerys to “win” the game of thrones. She’s done some horrible things — like make us suffer through Qarth — but nothing that evil. Meanwhile, this guy, with his royal blood, is still out there after Davos set him free. Can the Onion Knight work his magic again?
3. Why is the High Sparrow so terrifying?
Everyone has an ulterior motive. They say they want one thing, but they actually desire something else entirely. Not the High Sparrow, though. He doesn’t care for riches, or titles, or a new desk that isn’t made of ancient rock. All he cares about is his faith, which is what makes him so dangerous. There are no distractions, no weaknesses that even the Queen of Thorns, who was on fire this episode, could spot. How do you bring the High Sparrow down when a king is afraid to use his army because his vulnerability is on trial? That’s as good a question as: How long do we think Samwell (the Vagina Slayer?) lasted with Gilly? Over/under 10 seconds?
4. What was the point of this scene?
As predicted, Bronn was poisoned by Tyene’s blade, but what I didn’t see coming, though I probably should have, is that he’d be locked in a jail cell near the Sand Snakes (unlike Jaime?), one of whom took their top off so that his blood would flow faster, and then she’d quickly provide him with the antidote, obviously. What drama! Outside of the whole Bronn not dying thing, this scene provided nothing, except for boobs. Which, fine! Great! But the intent — for a powerful woman to use her sexuality against a man — didn’t really come through, not while the perspective came from Bronn trying to visually reenact the plot of “The Dornishman’s Wife.”
Still, watching him suffer was a treat, though not as much as listening to him sing.
5. Does Daenerys have any use for Jorah?
“What a re-introduction of Jorah back into Dany’s life,” is something I wish I could have said. While not quite as bad as the Sand Snakes battle from last week, the fight choreography in the pit was a letdown, with Jorah goofily spinning helmets the way Gene Wilder does his top hat in Young Frankenstein. That being said, it was an important scene because, for the first time, it brought together Daenerys and Tyrion, two of the show’s most influential characters. They’re like if John Lennon had recorded an album with Bob Dylan, but what about their session musician, Jorah? Is he of use to anyone? Yes, because of what happened to Barristan the Bold. Dany still clearly hasn’t forgiven Jorah for what he did — nor should she — but she doesn’t have her one-man council anymore. She’s down to Missandei and Daario, and the influence of Tyrion, who could take pity on Jorah (dragon bonding is the best bonding), may go a long way.
Here’s David Benioff on the pairing:
“We’re really excited to see these two characters we love so much finally set eyes on each other,” Benioff said. “Creatively it made sense to us, because we wanted it to happen. They’re two of the best characters of the show. To have them come so close together this season then have them not meet felt incredibly frustrating. Also, we’re on a relatively fast pace. We don’t want to do a 10-year adaptation of the books, we don’t want to do a nine-year adaptation. We’re not going to spend four seasons in Meereen. It’s time for these two to get together. It’s hard to come up with a more eloquent explanation, but this just felt right. [Varys] puts Tyrion’s mission out there and the mission ends in Meereen.” (Via)
I imagine Varys is still waiting in that brothel like Huell in a motel room.
6. Who was the real hero of the episode?
I don’t know who you are, mysterious tall man, but your watch (of Tyrion) has now ended.
7. How much does Lancel know?
Well, considering he and Cersei used to bone, I’d say a lot. It’s been awhile, but Lancel slept with Cersei, his first cousin, when Jaime was captured because Tywin ordered him to obey her orders. Probably not what he had in mind, but it’s the thought that counts. Anyway, the High Sparrow’s reveal was fantastic (I was initially disappointed that the episode didn’t end with Tyrion and Dany’s rendezvous, but it won me over) because that’s what happens when you, Cersei, rub your victory in the face of your foe, in this case, Margaery, who’s stuck in a dirty prison like a street rat. Cersei’s smug smirk was satisfyingly wiped clean off her face once Lancel entered the room, and now she’s a pawn in her own game (the queen’s off the board, but not the king; he’s guilty of no indecency crimes). The lesson, as always, is to not sleep with your cousins.
