The absolute best thing about Kermit the Frog’s new sideham: “Curvy brunette pig Denise was recycled from a former Muppets character called Spamela Hamderson.” Now, before you get all riled up that a frog mop/puppet is dating a pig mop/puppet who’s made from the used parts of a 20-year-old Pamela Anderson parody, as opposed to his original pig mop/puppet, please know that Kermit and Denise aren’t dating; they’re simply close friends.
“While I prefer to keep my personal life private, this is Hollywood, so who am I kidding?” Kermit said. “It is true that I am dating again. However, at this time no one woman — pig or otherwise — is my official ‘new girlfriend.’ We are simply close friends.” (Via Time)
So, he’s not Facebook official with Miss Piggy or Denise? Gonzo’s lady chickens better watch out. Whatever the case may be, the reaction to Kermit’s split from his former flame — who was more harmful than Muppets from Space — has been one part sexist outrage, one part “my childhood is over,” one part “they’re Muppets, people,” and one part Woody Allen references.
Here are some of the funniest responses.
Oh, Kermit. pic.twitter.com/nqBEnzJM3k
— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) September 2, 2015
— Matt Binder (@MattBinder) September 1, 2015
https://twitter.com/jessemangelo/status/638790120456519680
kermit's new girlfriend looks like she got a snapchat full of lip-syncing videos pic.twitter.com/nnhap0pAJS
— Desus MF Nice💯 (@desusnice) September 1, 2015
The frog sistren in the back cackling at Kermit like, "Look at this triflin' green mofo right here ya'll." pic.twitter.com/e75lCLKSgy
— WhatFreshHellisThis (@BlackAFMermaid) September 1, 2015
https://twitter.com/thethermals/status/638919768347570176
https://twitter.com/LisaVikingstad/status/638806655002669057
https://twitter.com/COol_1ne/status/638816967504191491
https://twitter.com/KenJennings/status/638915096245211136
How come Kermit only dates pigs tho? Is Kermit a self hatin frog??? Think piece comin soon. pic.twitter.com/36W3KIAf41
— Mehmet Okurrrt (@Natural_OneDurr) September 1, 2015
Meanwhile, Miss Piggy seems to be doing well for herself:
Miss Piggy: 1. Kermit the Frog: 0. ❤️🐷🐸 pic.twitter.com/QcZxokNkqb
— E! News (@enews) September 1, 2015
(Via Time)