It may seem hard to believe, but October 15 marks the 15th anniversary of the first episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Throughout Curb‘s eight-season run (which is available for streaming on HBO Now), one of the main constants on the show has been that Larry would continuously find himself in awkward social situations. In fact, that’s been pretty much the basis for the entire show: Larry would commit a social faux pas or point out someone else’s, and then he would have to deal with the repercussions. Sometimes, the unfortunate situations he found himself in were the result of a simple miscommunication, and other times, they were the result of Larry being an admitted “social assassin” — a person who isn’t afraid to tell it like it is, personal feelings of those around him be damned. Regardless, some of these incidents resulted in incredibly offensive, yet hilarious moments for our favorite misanthropic bald guy. So, here on Curb Your Enthusiasm‘s pretty, pretty special day, we’re going to celebrate some of Larry’s most outrageously funny moments.
Denise Handicapped
Larry became involved with a woman in a wheelchair named Denise. For a reason that was never made quite clear, he put her name into his Blackberry contact list as “Denise Handicapped.” But despite a few obvious relationship struggles, like Larry’s inability to carry her up a flight of stairs at a restaurant that was not equipped with a handicap ramp, the two of them seemed to be hitting it off… due in part to the positive (and stunned) way others responded to Larry’s new girlfriend. That was, until, Larry’s phone got tossed into the ocean by a justifiably pissed off Susie and Larry lost her number. Luckily, though, Larry met another woman in a wheelchair named Wendy, but both relationships came to a screeching halt once the two women learned of each other in a terrifically awkward way, resulting in there being no more “Denise Handicapped” and no more “Wendy Wheelchair” in Larry’s life.
Hitler Mustache
The 80th and final episode (so far) of Curb had Larry clashing with Michael J. Fox, and it was a wonderful half-hour of pure insanity. In fact, this entire post could have been made up entirely of Larry’s most offensive moments during this classic finale, but we’ll instead focus only on the time he spent sitting in Fox’s apartment, when he decided to draw a Hitler mustache on a man on a magazine cover. “I just like to see what people look like with Hitler mustaches,” Larry said matter-of-factly, as if he were somehow making sense. Of course, the man on the magazine ended up being Fox’s father-in-law.
He Can’t Be There For Loretta If She’s Sick
The beginning of the seventh season saw Larry still dating Loretta Black, which was a story arc that carried over from the previous season. With Loretta sick and waiting for the results of blood work from her doctor, Larry feared the worst — for himself — and attempted to break off the relationship before the results came back. He didn’t do it in time, however, and the diagnosis ended up being cancer. Thankfully, it wasn’t a terminal diagnosis.
Ida Funkhouser’s Stolen Memorial Flowers
Most of the time, the troubles that Larry got himself into were a result of him being slighted by society, but this may have been one of the few times within the entire series where his trouble was a direct result of him simply acting a bit insane. In this case, he stole flowers from the roadside memorial of his “best” friend Marty Funkhouser’s mother on three separate occasions, all because of a sweaty $50 bill. He could have saved himself a headache by simply stopping at an ATM.
Does Your Newly-Adopted Chinese Baby Prefer Chopsticks?
Larry saw some friends on the street who had recently adopted a Chinese baby. After exchanging hello’s, his first thought that came to mind was to ask whether or not the baby had shown any proclivity to using chopsticks instead of a fork. He didn’t even realize he was being offensive, which I suppose is what made the entire bit work. “Do me a favor? The first time she uses chopsticks, give me a call, let me know.”
Something’s Caught In My Throat
Larry’s doctor didn’t need to know his “oral history,” so to speak. All he really needed to do was to help him address what was causing the slight tickling sensation in the back of his throat. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to remove it, so Larry was forced to remain uncomfortable for the next few days. He hacked his way through countless daily activities, such as reading the newspaper, performing line reads on a Martin Scorsese movie set, and a visit with his in-laws, before finally getting it dislodged while rolling around in some hay during a fight with an actor who was playing Saint Joseph in a live manger scene. True story.
The Miracle That Wasn’t
Shortly after “The Bare Midriff” originally aired in 2009, Larry received backlash from Christian groups for the subject matter within this episode. In one scene, Larry went to the bathroom at his assistant’s home — Jillian Bell of Workaholics fame — and accidentally splattered urine on a picture of Jesus. Later, she saw the urine-stained picture and concluded that Jesus was crying and that she had witnessed a miracle, which caused her to quit her job as Larry’s assistant, buy a recreational vehicle, and travel the country with her mom.
