Quick Bachelor recap: Everyone went to Vegas. Ben took a date up in a helicopter for the second week in a row, because apparently Ben is already out of moves in episode four. He made another date — Becca, the Steph Curry of two-time Bachelor contestants — wear a wedding dress and come with him to a wedding chapel for the specific purpose of not marrying her, presumably after being told he couldn’t use the helicopter a third time. He took the twins to their family home outside the city, dumped one of them in front of her mom and sister, then left her crying in her childhood living room while he made out with the other one in a limousine that was speeding back to Las Vegas. It was borderline supervillain-y of him.
But we’re not here to talk about that. We’re here to talk about Olivia, who has been left to run roughshod over the competition now that Lace has left the show and taken with her the threat of someone getting beaten to death with an empty wine bottle for stepping out of line. (God, I miss Lace.) One of the main elements of the big Vegas episode was a talent competition, in which the contestants performed a brief skill in front of a crowd that was there to see the headlining act, a ventriloquist. The most notable talent belonged to the twins (still together at this point), who performed a synchronized riverdance in matching outfits. It was the creepiest non-clown thing I’ve seen on television in years. That is, it was the most notable talent until Olivia did, well, this…
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I’m not exactly sure any of that is “a talent,” if we’re using the strictest, dictionary definition of the term, but I mean, it seemed like she was having fun with the whole idea of it at the time, so good for her. Unfortunately, Ben gave her what she deemed to be “a pity hug” when the performance was over. And then she sat in the audience stewing about it during the rest of the talents. And then, when the whole thing was over, while the other contestants were celebrating backstage by drinking cocktails and WOOing, Olivia — who is, like, intense and borderline delusional about her connection to Ben, but in a way that makes you think she’s seen every season of the show and might be doing it as a conscious-ish decision — went ahead and freaked most of the way out. Tears, shaking, etc.
As the freakout was beginning, a fellow contestant grabbed her and pulled her into an unoccupied room backstage at the hotel, The Mirage, in an attempt to briefly get her away from the cameras…
… which was a nice thing to do because, reality show or not, those kind of vulnerable moments feel like they should be private, or at least it feels like the contestants should have the option of making the priv…
Hang on. What does that sign next to the door say? Enhance!
Enhance!
Enhance!
Hey! That’s Boyz II Men’s dressing room! Get out of Boyz II Men’s dressing room, Olivia! Have some respect for Boyz II Men’s personal space! That’s where they, uh… do whatever Boyz II Men does before and after their ongoing slate of performances at the Mirage! Dress, probably! Or sit around in bathrobes drinking champagne and reminiscing about the time they opened for Hammer on the 2 Legit 2 Quit tour! I don’t actually know what Boyz II Men does in their dressing room! Because I’ve never stormed it to use as my personal panic room! As far as anyone knows!
Although…
I suppose you could do a lot worse, as far as rooms to run into while you’re falling apart emotionally go. (Ex. – Room full of crocodiles. Probably not helpful.) Because, like, what if Boyz II Men had been in there? Maybe they could have serenaded her. Can you think of anything more spiritually soothing than Boyz II Men singing to you to make you feel better? I have been thinking about it for a while (30 seconds), and I cannot.
That settles it. We are all storming Boyz II Men’s dressing room. It’s cheaper than therapy. Depending how much the fine for trespassing is in Nevada.
