Five True Statements is exactly what it sounds like, a discussion about the most recent episode of ‘Better Call Saul’ centered around five undisputable statements of fact. Mostly undisputable, at least. I would never lie to you on purpose. Especially not about ‘Better Call Saul.’
1. Gus Fring does not play
It’s easy to forget, sometimes, that Gus Fring is a ruthless homicidal maniac. You see him sweeping up trash in the parking lot and wearing his little short sleeve dress shirt and you start tricking yourself into thinking of him as the gentleman criminal of the Southwest. A class act. A man with honor who runs his business with logic and spreadsheets instead of fear and firearms. And then the show jolts you back to reality by having him suffocate a man to death with a plastic bag and reveal that he knows what Nacho did to Hector and therefore now “owns” him. Don’t let the spectacles fool you, man. Gus is as brutal as any Salamanca. He’s just more calculated.
Poor Nacho. I realize it’s a weird place to be in, feeling sad for a violent criminal who is a large cog in the distribution of meth. I know I’m not being entirely rational about all of this. He just seems so… tired. He looks like he wants to be anywhere but New Mexico right now. Like if he found a time machine tomorrow he’d go back 15 years and move somewhere quiet. And now he’s gone from being under Hector’s thumb to under Gus’s thumb, and Gus has serious leverage on him, especially considering the cousins are back in town. Things are not great for Nacho.
2. Kim Wexler is a freaking bulldog and you should never forget that
Kim and Jimmy are in a strange place right now. Kim is banged up physically, with her arm still in a sling from the accident and her face still cut and scratched, and so Jimmy is picking up the slack there with breakfasts and shower bags and such. Jimmy, on the other hand, is banged up emotionally after Chuck’s death, and so Kim is picking up the slack there by pouring tequila and roasting Howard Hamlin all the way to hell.
We should talk about that scene. Let’s do that. Go back and watch it again but this time turn the volume all the way down. Just watch Kim’s face. Watch her eyes as she pierces lasers into Howard Hamlin’s soul. Watch the muscles in her and shoulders and neck flare out like a predator preparing to strike. Then watch Howard totally deflate across from her and ask yourself how much of that was acting and how much was just the natural human instinctive reaction Patrick Fabian had to someone tearing him apart limb from limb one phrase at a time. One of these days we’re going to have to give Rhea Seehorn an Emmy, mostly because she deserves it but also because I do not want her to ever yell at me like that.
3. In another world, in another universe, Jimmy McGill is a sales legend
Have you ever been to a sales conference? The kind where a hundred or so salespeople get together and listen to speeches and give each other prizes? It’s a surreal experience, bordering on cultish. You should sneak into one sometime and just observe. They’re usually in the fourth-biggest ballroom of a hotel. There are donuts outside.
I bring this up now because, in another life, if things played out differently and he used his powers for good (or at least good-ish), Jimmy McGill would be the star of these kinds of conferences. He’d get flown in to give keynote speeches and strut around the stage with a headset mic like Janet Jackson as he regaled them with stories about selling $1.2 million worth of kitchen knives in 2009 alone. People would be in awe. He would be a god. He would have all the donuts he could eat, forever.
Instead, he went the Slippin’ Jimmy route, using his gift of persuasion to grift. And now, post-Howard, post-suspension, he appears to be pushing back against the gift in another half-hearted attempt to go straight. He still got it, and he’ll use it, but now it’s a tool in his bag to root out suckers. Part of me wonders what would have happened if the copy shop guys had pushed back and made him wait a week. Would he have taken the job? Would their expensive figurines be safe from his always-churning brain? Or was this always going to blow up in some way at some point, and that display in the interview was just him ripping off the Band-Aid. I honestly don’t know. I’m not sure Jimmy does either right now.
4. Mike is a pretty great grandpa
Limited Mike action this week after the extended warehouse ruse in the premiere, which is fine, I guess, because you don’t want to overdo it with Mike, to whatever degree that’s even possible. We did see him get called in by Lydia, though, as she attempted to put an end to his warehouse inspections, to no avail. Mike makes a good point, though. Might as well make it look legit. Plus, even though he’d never admit it, not in a million years, I think Mike really enjoyed that warehouse ruse business. Tough cookies, Lydia
We also saw Mike at the playground with his granddaughter. Mike seems like a really great grandpa. It delights me so much to imagine anyone else in the whole world asking him for “five more minutes,” for anything. I’m not sure anyone would even be brave enough to do it, just on account of the look of disdain they’d receive. But his granddaughter asks him and he rolls over like a puppy. It’s adorable. I love Mike so much.
5. I would not like working with a serial killer who pees in the coffee pot
Line of the night goes to a mid-rant Jimmy for “I could be a serial killer. I could be the guy who pees in your coffee pot. I could be both!” It’s the last part that gets me. Because here’s the thing. If you find out a guy you work with is a serial killer, that’s going to mess you up. But if he didn’t kill anyone you know, there will always be some distance there between you and the bad acts. The coffee-peeing, though, that would be personal. And it would be weird because you’d end up having conversations like this:
COWORKER: Yo, did you hear Carl was the Night Canyon Strangler?
YOU: What? Carl? Wow.
COWORKER: He worked so close to us, too. It’s… unnerving.
YOU: Yeah. Really disturbing. I mean, I guess I can see it. Always something weird about him. Still…
COWORKER: And Alice said that when he confessed to the murders he started confessing to everything he ever did. Turns out he’s been… peeing in our coffee pot.
YOU: [suddenly way more upset] He did WHAT?
COWORKER: I mean, obviously not as bad as the serial killi-
YOU: The COFFEE?!
COWORKER: Right, but he did kill 14 people.
YOU: That sick bastard.
COWORKER: I know. I just feel so bad for the famil-
YOU: I drank fours cup of that coffee every day!
And then everyone will think you’re the crazy one.
