How does one celebrate Tiffani Thiessen’s 40th birthday? Hmmm, let’s see…
Does one take the opportunity to point out that her most famous character, Kelly Kapowski, was actually a hot mess who repeatedly dated men who were much older than her (Jeff, the late-20s scumbag diner manager, while she was a junior in high school; Brian Hansen, the scumbag Hawaiian lawyer who was old enough to have finished law school and land the account of a large hotel chain, while she was on vacation between her junior and senior years of high school; and Professor Jeremiah Lasky, her anthropology professor, while she was a college student), and the show never made a big deal out of it, and actually treated it like it was kind of normal, which is just totally insane behavior from a show aimed at junior high students if you think about it for like half a second? No, one does not. It’s a fair point, and one that might be worth revisiting later on (dibs, btw), but this is probably not the time.
Does one just say screw it and post a crapload of GIFs, like the one above, and, uh, the one below? One could do that, I suppose, if one was so inclined.
Does one do that thing people do where something or someone they remember from their youth reaches a milestone ending in a zero so they freak out because OMG YOU GUYSSSSSSSSS WE ARE SO OLLLLLLD? No, one does not, because that is a silly way to behave, and you should stop it.
Does one post a link to her Me in My Place shoot from last year to remind everyone that, even though they will always probably think of her as Kelly Kapowski, she’s still gettin’ it done out there. Yes, one probably does.
Does one say “Hey, remember that show she was in with Bill Bellamy and Mike Dexter from Can’t Hardly Wait, Fastlane, where she played the boss of some weird undercover police unit that seized high-end products and then used them in investigations, so every episode was basically just the three of them speeding into and out of gunfights in candy-colored Lamborghinis?” Sure, one could do that, especially if one watched every episode and was legitimately sad it got canceled, because, again, it featured Kelly Kapowski, Bill Bellamy, and Mike Dexter screaming around Los Angeles in candy-colored Lamborghinis and WHAT MORE DO YOU PEOPLE WANT? JESUS.
Or does one not do any of that and play it real cool-like by simply saying “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” so one doesn’t look like a total weirdo stalker? Uh, whoops. Probably a little late for that.
