One voice that has been greatly missed in the conversation about the presidential race, and that is the voice of Jon Stewart. Since he left The Daily Show, the race has heated up considerably and taken a real turn for the weird now that Donald Trump and Ben Carson became frontrunners. Last night, Stewart performed at Stand Up for Heroes, a comedy show to benefit wounded veterans, and graced the audience with some jabs at the candidates. And they did not disappoint.
After addressing his impressive retirement beard (“Look at me. Look what happened. I left TV two months ago. What the f*ck happened? I’m old as sh*t now. How long did it take Tom Hanks in Cast Away?”), he got down to brass tacks and talked about Donald Trump:
“Are we really doing this Donald Trump thing? We’re really doing that as a country? …
“He’s f*cked. I like to put my name in giant letters on everything I own as much as the next guy, but the only other people that do that are like 8-year-olds going to camp…”
He also did his famous Trump impression because it’s probably still taking up some real estate in his psyche. Stewart probably doesn’t “do an impression of Donald Trump” as much as he “exorcises the spirit of Trump from his soul.” But then he turned to Ben Carson, calling his public comments “the softest-spoken crazy sh*t I’ve ever heard.”
Democrats, however, were not exempt from Stewart’s routine. He said Hillary Clinton is “going to be president.”
“Even if she loses, she will f*cking be president. She will not be denied.”
And even though he isn’t running, Vice President Joe Biden was also invoked:
“Have you watched him during the State of the Union? It’s like watching a guy work a sales convention. The president is talking and the vice president is behind him like this: ‘Hey, boom,’ ‘Hey, sugar tits.’ ‘Oh, hey, what’s happening?’ ‘What’s going down?’ ‘Nice to see you.’ ‘What’s up, governor?’ ‘Boom.’”
We’ve really missed you, Jon. Please come back when your beard reaches shoulder-length.
Source: The Hollywood Reporter
