If the intention of last night’s True Detective was to dissuade viewers from attending an orgy, mission accomplished, Nic Pizzolatto. It looked terrible. Women were required to take a spritz of Molly, there were old man butts everywhere, and, I don’t know about you guys, but I’d rather not be in a house surrounded by armed watchmen (and the Albino from Banshee). Like, ever.
To recap: True Detective orgies, bad; other TV show orgies… potentially good? Below, you’ll find some of the more memorable TV orgy scenes, not including Spartacus. Pretty sure every episode of that show had an orgy — hell, there’s even a song on the official soundtrack called “Orgy.”
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
After finding a glory hole in the Paddy’s Pub bathroom, Frank invites Dennis to an orgy held not in an “elaborate mansion” but a dump apartment. The password is “ooorrrrggyyyyy,” but the sex is minimal once inside. In fact, there’s none, only half-naked dudes pathetically eating from a buffet.
Party Down
There’s not much sex in “Nick DiCintio’s Orgy Night,” either, because no one knows they’re at an orgy. Except for host Nick, played by Thomas Lennon, who worded his invitation so poorly that his guests don’t realize they’re supposed to be getting their Eyes Wide Shut on. But there’s a “f*ck room,” and a surprisingly proactive Roman suggests Nick cluster his “f*ck-actives” together. Everyone’s supposed to be happy, but they’re actually all miserable. Kind of like a real orgy.
Review
Meanwhile, Forrest’s orgy was “one of the greatest f*cking nights of my life.” Pun intended?
Sense8
I can’t embed a video for the decidedly-not-SFW orgy scene from Sense8, but, rest assured, it’s there (and very progressive) because it’s not a Wachowski sibling project without at least one.
South Park
Time-travelers from the year 3045 have arrived in South Park to TAKE OUR JERBS. To retaliate against the “Goobacks,” current-day humans suggest that all the men strip and throw themselves into a giant pile/orgy. An embarrassed Stan suggests that a better way to get rid of the unwanted guests is to recycle and save the planet, because then the Goobacks won’t have to travel to the past. Turns out, installing solar panels is “gayer than all the men getting in a big pile and having sex with each other,” and all the men get in a big pile and have sex with each other.
True Blood
There were terribly (and terrible) memorable moments on True Blood before the multi-day outdoor orgies that involved a monument made of meat, livestock, and Maryann feeding off the collective energy of the sex shenanigans to… get stronger? But none were as remarkably WTF.
