Raylan Givens was essentially James Bond last night. There have always been parallels between the two characters — they’re both painfully cool, trigger-happy leading men who torment their boss, always get their man, and wear a signature item of clothing (Bond : Tuxedo :: Givens : Hat) — but last night they were especially pronounced.
The episode featured two attractive ladies on opposite, if fuzzy, sides of the law — both of whom he either seduced or is currently seducing, obviously — and a dangerous fugitive who taunted him with a personalized videotaped message, and who he later put down after walking into a bar, calmly ordering a drink, and clearing everyone out so they could face off mano a mano. Switch out Timonthy Olyphant with Sean Connery, set it in 1960s London, and give him cufflinks that shoot poison darts or jam radio signals or whatever, and you have got yourself a Bond movie, my friend. Or maybe just leave it in the present-day and give Raylan a hilarious jet pack. Either way.
And now, the highlights:
- I am so excited about this new plot involving Boyd. SO excited. When the Harlan Illuminati was all “You have to kill this guy. The Crowders do what we tell them to,” I literally said, out loud, “NO THEY DON’T” like I was a six-year-old who was explaining to an adult how his toys work. Boyd is obviously going to turn the tables on them because Boyd is really good at turning tables, and I can’t wait to see how he does it. I mean, they acted like my man doesn’t know words. “You know what that word means? Placated?” “Yes, I do. But I think the word you mean is ‘pacify.’” Come on, now.
- Oh, and speaking of the party where Boyd met with the Harlan Illuminati (which is how I will be referring to them for the rest of the season/series), two quick thoughts: 1) I can’t describe it better than Spencer Hall did last night, so I won’t even try, and 2) Hey look! Boyd combed his hair! Sort of!
- A sexy, mysterious grad student named Jackie Nevada who plays poker every night, showers with the bathroom door open, and may or may not have stolen a criminal’s hidden loot while palling around with a U.S. Marshal? GET OUT OF MY BRAIN, JUSTIFIED. THAT’S WHERE I KEEP PASSWORDS AND STUFF.
- Good night, sweet Hot Bounty Hunter. We hardly knew ye. And those of us who did were so sad to hear of your passing that we hucked our mint chocolate chip ice cream cones out the window of a moving car. Sad on many levels.
- You will never — never, never, never — convince me that Kenny isn’t the son Paul Kinsey had out in Hollywood in the 1970s. Film-making, panty-stealing, fedora-wearing, and hanging out with nefarious characters? Classic Kinsey.
- I want Arlo’s pronunciation of “Eat sh-t” as my ringtone. “Eeeeet sheeeeeeeet.”
- The episode was so heavy on Raylan and Boyd that there was barely any screen time left for anyone else. Except for a very brief table-setting C-plot between Colt and Johnny, everyone else could have probably stayed home.
- Actually, check that: Tim may have been on screen for a total of three seconds, but he still had my favorite line of the night. “Jesus Christ, Nelson. I’m sorry I forgot your birthday.” His perpetual crankiness fuels me.
- You can tell Ava and Boyd have a strong relationship because she’ll let him give out as many handjobs as necessary to find Drew Thompson. If that ain’t love, then brother, I don’t know what is.
GIFs from Chet Manley on the following pages. Team Jackie Nevada forever.
