If you’re not watching the final season of True Blood, you’re missing out. Not because it’s good, but because it’s so, so, so bad. Check out Burnsy’s recap of the first episode of the season, and then go to Sunday’s. He’s losing his mind, and we’re reaping all the benefits. It doesn’t matter if you bolted from Bon Temps after season three — nothing on the show makes sense, anyway. Except Pam, Eric, and Jessica, and even then, one of them was recently threatened to be raped with a red-hot dildo. It’s been reminiscent of another once-good drama (yes, I’d argue that seasons one and two of True Blood were solid) that had an unintentionally hilarious final season, but we’ll get to that.
Here’s a countdown of the shows that fell from grace the hardest in their final seasons.
8. The Office
A great finale can’t make up for Jim and Pam’s boring adventures in marriage and no Michael Scott and “The Farm” and Andy…oh god, Andy. The second the Nard Dog returned from his boat trip, he instantly landed on the Worst Characters of All-Time list. Where once his dickishness used to be THE JOKE, now he was just a dick. To sweet, perfect Erin, no less. That’s unforgivable.
7. E.R.
Despite its stash of prestigious awards and the fact that it was once one of the highest rated shows on TV, no one talks about E.R. anymore. It’s a completely anonymous blockbuster that ran for 15 seasons (!). By the time the County General gang handed in their scrubs, or whatever it is doctors do, the still-impressive cast (Lindsay Weir! Uncle Jesse! Steve Smith!) was nearly unrecognizable to someone who stopped watching when George Clooney left. E.R. simply ran out of new stories to tell and new ways for helicopter to kill characters, and the only reason people were still tuning in was because they wanted to see the old guard return. They did, but it felt hollow.
6. Northern Exposure
The Office wasn’t the first show to continue after its main star left. Northern Exposure had the same problem 15 years earlier, when Rob Morrow departed over a salary disagreement midway through the final season. By that point, however, the show was a shell of its former quirky, magical, clever self — think of the difference between Twin Peaks‘ magnificent season one and uneven season two, but worse.
5. Heroes
/remembers nothing abut the final season of Heroes
//consults Wikipedia
As the press turn to question Claire and Noah, Claire gets them to follow her as she climbs to the top of the Ferris wheel. Sylar notes to Peter that while he wanted to kill Doyle, he chose not to and saving Emma felt good. As they notice Claire climbing, Peter states that she will change everything and Sylar declares, “It’s a brave new world.” Claire leaps off of the Ferris wheel with the press watching. With the cameras in her face, she relocates her arm. She says, “My name is Claire Bennet, and this is attempt number…I guess I’ve kinda lost count.” (Via)
I want to forget that all over again.
4. How I Met Your Mother
I was very tempted to put Lost on this list, but that wouldn’t be fair. I enjoy that show’s final season; I just happen to hate the finale. Unlike How I Met Your Mother: I loathe the final season AND final episode equally. The story structure — with 24 episodes spanning only a single weekend — could have worked if the redundant plots hadn’t dragged so much. One can only stomach so many Barney and Robin fights, to say nothing of the colossal misfire of stranding Jason Segel from the rest of the cast. Then there’s the last episode, but we don’t have to go through that suffering again.
3. Roseanne
The series finale of Roseanne is a gamble that mostly works, especially when compared to the stunningly mediocre sitcoms it ran concurrent with (can you imagine Home Improvement ending with Tool Man Taylor writing a book in which we learn that his wife, who we thought had survived a heart attack, actually died?). But that still doesn’t mean the 22 episodes preceding it were any good. In fact, they were awful, so awful that I don’t need to detail exact plots, only certain keywords: “lottery,” “Jerry Springer Show,” “Prince Carlos Charmaine,” “spa trip,” “Satan birth,” “women-hating terrorists,” “fatty foods,” “Evita,” “Black Widow.” It was a fascinating mess, one that the finale couldn’t clean up.
1/2. Dexter vs. True Blood
I have a confession to make: this entire post was just an excuse to pit the terrible final season of True Blood against the awful final season of Dexter. So, let’s break this down:
Why True Blood Was Worse: Tara’s death; Sam refusing to leave Bon Temps with his pregnant wife, Michelle’s black friend from Full House, because reasons; the many new characters we’re supposed to care about, including Vincent and whatever the name of the vamp that’s putting the undead moves on Arlene is, but don’t; Sookie; half the cast hanging out in Fangtasia’s dungeon basement; every pre-Vampire Bill flashback; the Hep-V makeup; NewMe; Jason wanting to adopt a baby with his vampire lover; some faceless minion killing Alcide; getting rid of Willa; Lafayette throwing a house party the day after a lot of people died; step-siblings sex; Ghost Tara blaming herself for not shooting her father when he was threatening to kill Lettie Mae, or something. I don’t know anymore.
Why Dexter Was Worse:
Dexter “wins.”
