While we finally learned the true identity of the mysterious and evil Warlow in this week’s episode of True Blood, everything else seemed to roll right along at a snail’s pace. That’s obviously not a good thing when we’re four episodes into a 10-episode season, but at least it seems that this episode’s goal was to quit pussyfooting around the Warlow hunt and bring him and Sookie right into each other’s arms.
But this episode also marks the fourth in a row (batting 1.000, folks!) that we’ve been told that war is coming, and with the exception of Eric’s handling of the governor’s daughter and Pam’s little dilemma, it seems like we’re getting all foreplay and no action. Nevertheless, let’s get down to the nitty gritty in this week’s True Blood True or False, and break down season 6, episode 4: “At Last.”
True or False: We all pretty much saw the Ben thing coming a mile away, right?
Okay, good, just making sure. I was a little surprised at first that this episode revealed that Ben is Warlow right from the get-go, only because that seems like such an end of the episode thing to do, which led me to wonder, “Why the hell didn’t they just end the last episode with Ben giving Jason his blood?” but it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that Ben tricked everyone into trusting him and now he’s got Sookie, Jason and Niall right where he wants them.
True or False: A girl can only be lied to so many times before she becomes fed up.
I’d say the biggest positive of this episode was watching Sookie waste very little time between realizing that Warlow saved Jason’s life and plotting to use her nuclear vampire bomb to destroy him. Good for you, Sookmeister.
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True or False: Jason has himself a little bro crush.
Between the dream sequence of Jason and Ben shaving each other, and Jason asking Niall in the douchebaggiest way possible if he’s ever had a sexual dream about another man – seriously, I expected him to shout, “I AIN’T QUEER!” at least once – I almost laughed as hard at this episode as I did during Bill’s feeding scene in episode 2.
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True or False: Jason might be worthless to the plot, but he’s great for the ladies.
Cut it out, jerk.
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True or False: Niall can’t be dead, can he?
You can’t just kill off Rutger Hauer four episodes into the season, when he’s been so desperate to hunt and kill the strange vampire-faery hybrid. At the very least, he needs to help Sookie. So clearly he can’t be dead.
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True or False: Okay, then Niall can’t be locked in another dimension for eternity, can he?
I assume that this isn’t the last we’ll see of grandpa, because I interpreted the comment about Warlow being able to escape whatever nightmarish dimension he was sending Niall to as sort of a challenge to the old man. But if I’m wrong, and Niall is indeed a goner, that was such a terrible way to send him off.
True or False: Sookie’s not going to kill Warlow just yet.
Thanks to Nora, who was dickishly thrown right into the UV-bullet crosshairs of the vampire task force, we know that Warlow is the only character that can actually kill Lilith, because he is the progeny and therefore must lead her to the sun. So if Sookie’s going to use her nuke to end a vampire, it’s not going to be Warlow just yet. I still think that she’s going to use it elsewhere, but I’m hardly ever right about anything, and this show is hardly that surprising anymore.
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True or False: Alcide and the wolfpack are becoming more of a distraction than they are a plotline.
I barely even know what’s going on with Alcide anymore. The werewolves are all pissed off at each other, and the only thing they’ve done to make me enjoy them this season was mauling Nicole’s annoying boyfriend. The werewolves either need to figure out what they’re doing or they need to get out of the way and let the vampire/human war speed up a little bit.
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True or False: Sam and Nicole scenes are the perfect time to go refill your drink or take a bathroom break.
Great, they’re hooking up just like we’ve known they would the entire time. Now imagine if they seemed like they were actually in trouble or were going to do anything at all to make me forget that she was Michelle Tanner’s best friend on Full House.
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True or False: They grow up so fast, don’t they, Andy?
Watching Andy’s faery daughters go from little kids to party animal teenagers in a manner of seconds was borderline creepy. I kept expecting Uncle Terry to be joined by Chris Hansen.
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True or False: You really get a sense that Jessica is going to protect Andy’s daughters from Bill.
When Jessica gives Bill the whole, “They’re the same age I was…” routine before they scoop the four faery daughters up to steal their blood, I honestly thought that we were going to witness a huge rift between Bill and Jessica over the fate of these girls, once Bill and the professor had successfully synthesized their blood.
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True or False: Jessica done goofed.
On one hand, Andy is going to be super pissed when he finds out what happened to his daughters. On the other hand, what the hell can he do about it? The real question is will the professor be able to synthesize the blood and give Bill what he thinks he needs to be able to save the vampire race from the governor’s master plan?
True or False: It’s hard to assume that someone is lying to you when vampires are running around glamming everyone.
For the sake of entertainment, I understand that not everything can be as cut and dry as we’d like to think it should be. But Andy knows how the vampires work, so when he and Jason are literally busting the poor gas station guy’s balls over the whereabouts of his faery daughters, shouldn’t he realize right away that the guy’s probably been glammed? Otherwise, he’d have to be a complete moron to think he could tell a cop that he doesn’t have any clue why a squad car has been outside his store for a day and a half.
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True or False: This still isn’t war. It’s closer to war, but it’s still not war.
As Pam was kind enough to remind Tara that “This is war”, we still didn’t get much of a war, unless you count both sides posturing yet again. However, if you do count that, then I guess we’re getting plenty of war, with the LAVTF capturing Pam, while Eric was off changing the game in a major way.
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True or False: There are warning shots and then there’s Eric Northman turning the governor’s daughter into a vampire.
The fact that Eric turned Willa into a vampire wasn’t necessarily a shock or even cold, as we pretty much knew it was going to happen. But the way he did it and then basically told her to take her ass home and show daddy what he did, was just plain ruthless. If there’s one constant in this sixth season, and just one thing to keep us excited about watching each Sunday, it’s definitely Eric.
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True or False: We’re about to get some war, fam.
Governor Burrell was almost taken out by his own vampire daughter, and he just stood by and watched as Sally Newlin shot her. I would have to think that he’s about to escalate his plan considerably in the next episode, and seeing as we only have six left in the season, he’d better get a move on. As much as we want a war between the humans and vampires, we’d also like it to be as long and bloody as possible.
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