The 87th Annual Academy Awards (ABC, Sunday 8:30 p.m.) — The grandest awards show of them all broadcasts live from Hollywood, as the world’s most important and indisputably best movie is chosen with absolutely no controversy or disagreement from viewers at home or the internet. Neil Patrick Harris will host (and sing at some point), and I can’t wait to see his after-show journal entry.
Live from the Red Carpet (ABC, Sunday 7:00 p.m.) — You need to stay the f*ck off of Twitter if you think celebrities are people because sh*t’s gonna get real uncomfortable as actors and actresses get their faces judged off by the casually attired hoi polloi during this 90-minute pre-game show.
The Walking Dead (AMC, Sunday 9:00 p.m.) — Last weekend, it was the SNL 40th Anniversary Special that went up against The Walking Dead, now it’s the Oscars. Which will you choose? I know that I’ve done a great job of selling the glitz and glam of the Oscars to you, but you should also know that it looks like Rick’s group is going to learn a little bit about the kindly stranger that they just met after a horrific storm this week, and that always works out real well for them. Decisions, decisions. If only this were the future, and we had the ability to simply record things or view them through alternate vendors at a time that is more convenient to us.
12 Monkeys (Syfy, Friday 9:00 p.m.) — Cole tries to save Dr. Railly, and an alternate reality is created in 2043 thanks to whatever went down last week in the Night Room. I can’t type that and not think of Bob Seger. Perhaps you also suffer from this malady.
Banshee (Cinemax, Friday 10:00 p.m.) — Lucas tries to pull off a heist, and Rebecca heads to Philadelphia for some business.
Helix (Syfy, Friday 10:00 p.m.) — Another outbreak brings the CDC teams together.
The Jack And Triumph Show (Adult Swim, Friday 11:30 p.m.) — For years, I have enjoyed the special treat that is Triumph the Insult Comic Dog on Conan and on Late Night, but now it’s time to find out if the human body was meant to absorb a half hour’s worth of Triumph. Jack McBrayer, too.
Downton Abbey (PBS, Sunday 9:00 p.m.) — It’s the season finale, and even the synopsis is reserved:
“Observe Mrs. Patmore’s surprise, Anna’s predicament and Robert’s revelation.”
My stars…
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Sean Hayes on Letterman; Jimmy Kimmel, John Krasinski, and David Cross join professional illusionist Will Arnett on the The Late Late Show; Kevin Bacon and Amy Sedaris on Fallon; and Jimmy Kimmel Live’s post-Oscar extravaganza airs predictably after the Oscars on Sunday night and will feature everyone. On earth. See you there.