Rectify (Sundance, 10 p.m.) — Some people thought last week’s premiere was too slow, others thought it was fantastic. I agree with the latter and hope no one’s given up on Rectify already. I mean, c’mon, it’s about prison, blowjobs, Sharon Van Etten songs, a woman who looks like Michelle Williams, and murder. What’s not to love?
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.) — Barney’s having his bachelor party (with laser tag?) in an episode titled “The Bro Mitzvah.” It’s no “Ska Mitzvah,” but it’ll do.
The Big C (Showtime, 10 p.m.) — Season premiere. The Big C returns for a final four-episode season to answer what the “C” in the show name stands for. Calvin? Cucamonga? Cumeleon? Probably cumeleon.
The Following (Fox, 9 p.m.) — Season finale. I’ll miss hate not watching you.
Bates Motel (A&E, 10 p.m.) — “Norman learns that popular girls come with many complications.” So, really, it’s all the popular girls’ fault for what’s to come. Popular girls are the worst. (I wish I was a popular girl.)
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Mindy Kaling and Nada Bakos on Letterman; Ben Kingsley and Larry the Cable Guy on Leno; Martin Short and Leah Remini on Kimmel; Jim O’Heir on Ferguson; Rebel Wilson, Retta, and Anthony Bourdain on Fallon; Brad Garrett, Amy Schumer, and Old Crow Medicine Show on Conan; Jon Hamm on Stewart; and Iggy and the Stooges on Colbert.
