This Week In Posters: Dunkirk, Atomic Blonde, Coco, Black Panther, And More

06.12.17 2 months ago 55 Comments

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This Week in Posters begins this week with Always Chasing Love, which is apparently “inspired by true stories.” Is this the world’s most meaningless assertion? And it seems to star… Adam Sandler in his Little Nicky wig? So there’s Adam Sandler, a murder, a wedding, and presumably someone falls in love. I dunno, man.  I guess this is a movie for people who like being puzzled by disparate things.

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Here’s one of a few new Atomic Blonde posters where Charlize Theron poses with her gun like it’s a cigarette holder. V elegant. I’m not entirely sure what this is about but the fact that she’s blonde seems very important.

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Nice outfit. I can’t tell if Charlize wants to flash me or kill me here. What’s up with assassins always wearing large overcoats? Don’t they get hot? And why do the female ones always have footwear up past the knees? Seems inconvenient is all.

“Bigger, bolder, and as badass as Bourne!” is kind of a weird tagline. It sort of ends on a grounded note. Did they not want to call her “badasserer” than Bourne? Or more badass than Bourne? Is Bourne the all-time benchmark for badassness? Were they like “Bigger, bolder, and more badass than Bourne… wait, no, we can’t say that, no one will ever believe it! Okay, as badass as Bourne. That we can maybe get away with.”

Anyway, if this is anything like Bourne I look forward to being bored stiff by it for the next decade.

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First “get triggered” and now the direct reference to the gun-as-phallic symbol? Tré risque! And the white guy is all insecure about how much bigger the black guy’s “gun” is. I said it as a joke last time, but maybe this really is a mainstream cuck movie.

Also, why is it always Ryan Reynolds movies trying to be controversial? He seems like such a sweet Canadian. Is that part of the draw, such a sweet Canadian boy doing naughty things? Is he like the male actor Avril Lavigne?

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