There was a point during this NBA season that it seemed like the Indiana Pacers were poised to knock the Miami Heat off the top of the mountain. The Pacers, experts and analysts claimed, had younger, more exciting players developing into stars, all while they were learning to work together as a team, and nothing can stop a team of five men each playing a role. Unless, of course, you count a team of LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh playing the role of five men, in which case nobody is going to win. But the Pacers took the top seed in the Eastern Conference after a spectacular season, and Indiana was suddenly the team to beat.
Now, though, after a grueling and embarrassing first round against the Atlanta Hawks and a 102-96 Game 1 loss against the Washington Wizards, it seems more like the Pacers are the team to easily beat. There’s plenty we could point to in explaining why the Pacers are suddenly struggling so much, but the consensus seems to be the shockingly terrible play of Roy Hibbert, who simply hasn’t looked good since he was lifting Jean Ralphio up for alley-oops. After his second 0-0 game in a little over a week, Hibbert has become the target of the Internet’s wrath. It’s been ugly, folks.
For those of you who might be unfamiliar with proper NBA fan trash talking etiquette, if a guy who is supposed to be a star player turns in an awful performance, the appropriate response is something like this:
That’s usually good for a chuckle or two, but I’m fond of this variation, because it has Selena Gomez, who is a beautiful chipmunk goddess.
But we’re always a classier group of meme-lovers, so we like it when people try a little harder with their insults.
That’s a mean joke right there. But it’s not my favorite. That honor goes to this one:
The @NBAMemes Twitter account took credit for that one by slapping a logo on it, but I’m wary of that source. In the meantime, we can also enjoy former NBA stars Tracy McGrady and Gilbert Arenas for piling on.
That’s cold, T-Mac. That’s also a slippery slope for a former player to be playing on, because of the whole *points to hand with no rings* aspect of this. And speaking of no jewelry, Arenas was probably harsher than anyone toward Hibbert, using the same old memes to call Hibbert “softer than baby sh*t.”
Of course he made the trash can crack as well, because it’s practically mandatory at this point.
Maybe Arenas could call Joe Mande and ask his nemesis to help him craft some new jokes. But then, it might cut into his video game time.
My theory as to why Hibbert is suddenly so ineffective is that when Parks and Recreation fast forwarded three years into the future, Hibbert’s talent was somehow taken, too. At this rate, Hibbert and I will soon have plenty of time to examine this theory.